Post by Ampersand on Nov 6, 2021 20:54:38 GMT
The sounds of a guitar echo in the dark, the notes familiar and terse, but somehow subdued in their resonance. Sparks flare and flicker here and there, breaking up the darkness before strings of naked lights bulbs pinned up along the walls of a subterranean passage hum to life. As the camera moves down the corridor, a voice calls back to the viewer.
The viewer comes to a circular chamber illuminated by a single, sputtering light bulb swinging from a cord above an indistinct human figure. As the bulb flickers on and off, the figure resolves, shifting in the shadows to illuminate the features of different Ascended Gladiators. Amelia ‘Wildheart’ Winston flickers to life first, dressed in a sultry Red Riding Hood costume, a long-handled axe resting over one shoulder. The light flickers again, the shadows shifting this time to reveal SKUP9 standing with a pair of hockey sticks held in his hands. The camera flickers out and when it comes on again, Roy Valentine is seen in the thin light provided by the amethyst-colored prismatic glass above him, ferns and lichen clinging to the earthen walls and ceiling; a pale phantom haunting the halls beneath the earth. His fingers flex against thin, thorny vines wound around his hand. Shifting again, the viewer is shown Mara Lang standing in the middle of a glittering carpet. As the picture pulls out, however, all that glitters proves to be broken glass.
Frater Perdurabo creates a horrendous grating sound as he drags the curved side of a claw hammer’s head against a concrete wall of the Underground causing pale sparks. At the end of the hall, staring him down with ghostly blue eyes is Zephyr Quinn, a golf club held lightly in one hand tapping the edge of the door frame in which she stands. Flashing to the underground ring, we see Eleni Tolis straddling the top turnbuckle, a wicked grin on her face as she flashes her newest ‘manicure’ - a Freddy Krueger style set of razor-tipped gloves. Turning to the other side of the ring, ‘Adorable’ Adam Prince holds a kendo stick at the ready, blue eyes electric with intent. Zipping back down into the tunnel we come up behind David O’Toole, a trail of tacks following him. He looks over his shoulder, and as the camera follows his view, we hear the hunter before we see him; a long, ragged scraping sound. Dressed as Pyramid Head complete with ludicrously-sized kitchen cleaver is the Lab Rat King, revealing himself as he emerges from the shadows like they were made of liquid. He regards the path of tacks before him and lets out a low, guttural laugh before he begins to lurch his way over them toward his quarry.
At last, the camera turns, angling up to a rickety set of stairs at the top of which a figure stands silhouetted due to the backlighting. As the figure steps down and the light adjusts, the viewer finds themselves looking up at Silvio Leon tapping a bat rhythmically in one hand, a grin curling his lips. The view then swings around behind him to look at the person at the bottom of the staircase. Kyle Beckett waits, a mad glint in his eye, teeth gleaming in a fierce grin of his own, fingers tightening around the handle of a cricket bat.
The Underground arena, while smaller than the Colosseum, is still impressive in size. There are a few dozen fans present in person, and others watching from home seen on screens set high up near the ceiling, looking down at the ring below. At the announcing table sit Artemis Direction, dressed as a glamorous version of the Bride of Frankenstein, Hiro Suzuki as a vampire in pale face powder, a dark cowl and white fangs, and Del Ramos in a werewolf costume with painstakingly applied fur and prosthetics.
Del Ramos: Happy Halloween, or as I like to think of it, the most wonderful time of the year. And goddamn I must have pleased my dark under lords with my sacrifices and suffering after all, because we have been gifted with this - an all Underworld Rules match special edition of Collision. Suzuki?
Hiro Suzuki: Yeth?
Del Ramos: I don’t take back the shit I said about your stand-up routines - all that’s still fucking true. But I thank you for subjecting me to their horror so that I could dedicate that suffering to the infernal forces that animate me and my desire for blood.
Hiro Suzuki: Oh, uh thankth, Del! That’th thweet of you!
Artemis Direction: Hiro, darling, is there something wrong with your mouth?
Hiro Suzuki: It’th these-- hold on!
Hiro pries the fangs out of his mouth with a little, ‘p’tooey!’.
Hiro Suzuki: Ugh! There! It’s these vampire fangs. They’re supposed to stick perfectly to your teeth, but they're really uncomfortable. I think the problem is I let the mold sit for too long.
Artemis Direction: Oh?
Hiro Suzuki: Yeah, I was supposed to take them out at one o’clock, but I guess I left them in ‘til, tooth-hurty instead!
Del spreads their hands and directs their gaze to the floor.
Del Ramos: I know you’ve gifted me so much already, my infernal masters, but if you could have a sewer crocodile or something come chomp his head off before this night is over, I would never ask for another thing in this or any of my subsequent lives.
Artemis Direction: We have quite the lineup in tonight’s unique venue!
Hiro Suzuki: That’s right! We’re coming at you from the Seattle Underground, Ascended Army! Marcus Afsah is not just ludicrously wealthy, he is not just obscenely wealthy, he is evidently sacreligiously wealthy, because I can’t think of any other way he could afford to pull this off.
Del Ramos: Fuck that’s gonna be peanuts compared to the hospital bills all these poor schmucks are going to have to contend with. Amelia and SKUP9 in a regular fight would be some kind of major brutality in and of itself. Add Underworld rules to the mix? I’m fucking here for it.
Artemis Direction: SKUP9 certainly is turning heads. He’s been tearing through nearly everyone set in front of him. It’s not going to be long before he finds himself with some golden opportunities, I imagine.
Hiro fidgets in his seat, toying with the little fangs uncomfortably.
Hiro Suzuki: I’m not looking forward to the match after that. It just… seems like it’s got the opportunity to get really nasty.
Del chuckles, smirking.
Del Ramos: Oh, I know.
They practically purr the last word.
Del Ramos: Valentine’s got a mean streak about a mile wide and Lang showed a little more passion in that last promo. I think we might see a different Dr. Lang this time around.
Artemis Direction: The match after that one? Well, darlings if you want to talk about a monster mash!
Hiro Suzuki: Quinn versus Perdurabo…
The comedian pales even beneath his makeup.
Hiro Suzuki: Are we absolutely certain about the structural integrity of the Underground here? It’s not… gonna… you know, collapse under too much strain or anything, right?
Del Ramos: If there was any justice in this world, only on top of your head.
Artemis Direction: Well if the brutality of that match doesn’t, the sheer aesthetic delight of the next one might! The elegant Eleni Tolis and the ‘Adorable’ Adam Prince who does live up to that moniker of his!
Hiro Suzuki: They better watch out for any acute injuries! Neither of them seem the type with much experience in hardcore matches.
Del Ramos: You’d be surprised what this kind of fight can bring out in people. In my experience, the nice ones? The quiet ones? They’re the ones who snap the fucking hardest. Those fuckers aren’t lazy or weak - they’re saving their goddamn strength and ferocity for when they need it. Don’t be surprised if we see a whole new side to the supermodel or the super softie. I’m sure they got sharp edges where it counts.
Artemis Direction: The next match is...good heavens it's going to be something else, sweetlings.
Del is grinning, the yellow contacts in their eyes only emphasizing their bloodthirsty joy.
Del Ramos: It's gonna be a damn horror movie come to life. It's Michael Myers and Laurie Strode, straight up. You think the Rat's finally just gonna cannibalize someone in the ring in front of the Ascended Army, the rest of the roster and God?
Hiro starts to laugh as if Del's just made a joke, but his mirth dwindles as it dawns on him that Del is expressing a genuine… well, they admittedly don't sound concerned so much as hopeful.
Artemis Direction: Following that, we will have our very first World Title defense with Kyle Beckett challenging Silvio Leon! Kyle’s had quite a run since he debuted at Ascended.
Hiro Suzuki: He’s certainly earned this spot. After tonight, no matter who walks out with the title, everyone’s going to be looking to see who the next challenger is going to be.
Del Ramos: As long as they beat each other to a pulp, I don’t care who it is. I just wanna see the blood bath!
Artemis Direction: You’re about to get your wish, my gore-loving siren! But before we dive into the gore, we have a message from Ascended Wrestling’s owner and president!
The Lonely Island’s I’m So Humble rolls through the arena, the opening distorted vocals resonating down the old corridors of the Underground. Rather than making an appearance in person, however, every screen in the arena transitions from the CEO’s glittering gold signature and red wax seal to a view of a massive gas fireplace--more of a fire wall-- in front of which stands one Marcus Afsah. He grins, removing a pair of Ray Bans to reveal red contacts, a perfect match to the short devil horns growing from his forehead. Otherwise he wears a crisp black suit and is carrying a stemless glass of red wine--the picture of Lucifer.
Marcus Afsah: Happy Halloween, fans and freaks. Welcome to the Underground. Pretty cool, huh.
He follows that with a wicked grin.
Marcus Afsah: Don’t say I never do anything for you guys. To our Army here in the arena and to all our ghosts watching from home--you’re getting a trick and a treat. Hopefully it’ll be a very bloody treat, courtesy of the Underworld rules in play tonight. They say the underground is haunted as fuck or whatever, too, so… something to think about.
He winks, raising his glass in a toast.
Marcus Afsah: Enjoy the show.
Kevin Kim: The following match is scheduled for one fall, with no time limit. Introducing first, from Belleville, Ontario, Canada and weighing in at 157lbs. Amelia ‘Wildheart’ Winston!
The lights dim, strobing along with the beat of the song, Amelia standing at the top of the entrance ramp, bouncing a little on the balls of her feet. The first verse hits and the lights come up brighter, still strobing a bit with the tune as she makes her way down to the ring, a bit of strut in her march. She sprints the last few yards, diving in under the bottom rope and rolling to her feet, climbing onto the ropes to cut a pose for the hard camera as the lights come back to full normal before jumping down from the ropes, ready for her bout.
Artemis Direction: With this being Wildheart’s last outing at Ascended, we’re going to see if she can slay one last giant on her way out.
Del Ramos: SKUP9 is proving again and again that he lives up to his name. That loss to Quinn seems to have shaken him up enough to put everything he’s got into his matches.
The lights in the arena go down, leaving the arena completely dark.
The violin intro to “Hate Me Now” by Nas ft. Puff Daddy starts to fill the arena
The chorus kicks in and a spotlight appears from behind the entrance, creating the large, looming silhouette of the man in front of it. The lights come up and he raises his arms in the air.
Kevin Kim: On his way to the ring, weighing in at 369 lbs… from Grand Junction, Colorado… he is “The Eliminator” SKUP9!!!!!!
SKUP9 stalks his way down the ramp, stopping occasionally to give an intimidating stare to the crowd. He steps up from the ringside area onto the apron, then up and over the top rope and into the ring, He walks over to the corner, where he stretches while waiting for the match to start.
Referee Godric Smith quickly conducts a preliminary check of both competitors, Amelia giving him a brief playful wink, before the bell rings and the match is truly under way. The Eliminator looks to not waste any time and lunges forward. The Wildheart ducks beneath his waiting and eager grasp, to swing around behind the larger opponent. SKUP9 anticipated such a tactic - he dealt with enough smaller and quicker opponents to know how they operated. A stiff elbow strike catches Amelia by surprise, landing on the back where the neck and shoulders meet! The Eliminator tosses her back to her starting position with an impressive biel throw.
Hiro Suzuki: Check out the air time on that throw! At least Amelia can save up on frequent flyer miles!
Del Ramos: Winston’s gonna have to pull out all the stops if she's going to chop that tree down. She better not give him a second.
Artemis Direction: Having a look in the ring, it’s clear she knows that, darling!
Undaunted, Amelia is quickly back to her feet, connecting with a rapid dropkick right to the chest. It’s enough to knock SKUP9 back a few steps, creating some distance. The Wildheart capitalised by coming off of the ring ropes into a tilt-a-whirl, spinning through into a DDT that drives SKUP9’s head down into the mat. With a hook of the leg, Amelia makes the cover.
1…
2…
The Eliminator kicks out!
Hiro Suzuki: Hey, what did the teenage tornado say to his parents?
Del Ramos: Suzuki, I think you’re taking for granted I haven’t thought about how easy it would be to hide your body here, already under the earth, where no one would ever fucking find it.
Hiro Suzuki: Nothing! He just stormed out!
Artemis Direction: Oh, my stars and garters that reminds me - I have to deal with a house filled with teenagers and early twenty-somethings the day after Halloween. And they’re all drag artists.
Del Ramos: Does that make it worse?
Artemis Direction: Aside from the post sugar-crash and the inevitable costume contest fall-out drama? Darling, I don’t even want to think about the state of the bathrooms on November 1st. Oh, they had better pray their mother not find a disaster.
Del Ramos: Brutal.
Before the Eliminator can recover too much, Amelia is on him again, locking in a cravat lock and hitting with a series of stiff knees. Fighting through the furious flurry, SKUP9 lifts his opponent up for a ring-shaking backdrop. He opts against a cover attempt and waits. The moment Wildheart begins to stir, the Eliminator strikes. He sends the Ontario native end-over-end with a brutal discus lariat.
This time SKUP9 makes a cover.
1…
2…
Amelia rolls her shoulder!
Artemis Direction: Admirable grit from Winston!
Del Ramos: If she doesn’t get back on the attack soon, though, all the grit in the world ain’t gonna save her.
In a truly despicable act, the Eliminator places one foot down on Amelia’s throat. The Wildheart writhes as she struggles for air. Referee Godric Smith reaches the count of 4 before the Eliminator steps off his fallen opponent. He seems unperturbed by the referee’s admonishment. In the blink of an eye Amelia leaps up. So sudden and brazen is the move that SKUP9 is unable to muster a defence as the WIldheart connects with a hurricanrana that sends the Eliminator head first into a nearby corner post! Not one to let up, Amelia is there again and nails the Marie Antoinette Special. The Wildheart applies the Chokepoint!
Artemis Direction: Such confidence! Not only is Amelia Winston looking to beat the big man, but she wants to do it by making him tap out! Little Wildheart has quite a set of cojones on her!
Del scoffs.
Del Ramos: Balls. Please. Who wants to be compared with those weak, sensitive little things? You wanna be tough, you gotta be a pussy. Those things can take a pounding.
The submission is expertly locked in, giving SKUP9 a taste of his own medicine by cutting off the airway! The big man grimaces, jaw clenched tightly shut as he pushes through, forcing himself to stay conscious. He curls a fist and clocks Amelia in the face, loosening her grip. Just the opportunity the Eliminator was after. He struggles and battles to his feet, Amelia still draped around his neck. He hoists her up and looks to throw her bodily into the corner with a buckle bomb. The Wildheart knows when to cut free and slips behind SKUP9. Ripcord Jumping Knee! The Eliminator staggers. Amelia comes off the ropes for a fameasser to finish the Moneymaker but is caught by surprise as SKUP9 lifts her up high into the air in a military press. He drops her. As Amelia comes down SKUP9 brings his knee up.
Hiro Suzuki: Expulsion!
Artemis Direction: This could be it!
The Wildheart is left dazed and confused, helpless as SKUP9 seals the deal with the Abolition. He makes the pin with a lateral press.
1…
2…
3…
Kevin Kim: Your winner, “THE ELIMINATOR,” SKUP9!
The crowd roars as SKUP9’s hand is raised in victory.
Artemis Direction: Well, I think it’s safe to say that the Eliminator has become undeniable! If management didn’t have him in mind for gold before…
As SKUP9 exits the ring, Godric Smith takes Amelia’s hand and raises it, pointing to the wrestler. The crowd gives an appreciative pop; a send-off for Wildheart.
Artemis Direction: What a way to start off our show! And we’re about to continue it with some serious style and panache, sweethearts.
Del smirks.
Del Ramos: To say nothing of a little cruelty and sadism.
Hiro Suzuki: Say, did you hear about the sadomasochist who was swindling people out of their life savings?
Artemis Direction: I have not, but color me intrigued, dear heart! Who doesn’t like a sexy caper?
Hiro Suzuki: He was a Con Dom!
Del Ramos: The hatred I feel now having heard you say something even related to sex…
Kevin Kim: Introducing first--
Heavy operatic guitar resonates through the Underground’s halls. Roy’s entrance video plays in all its floral glory; Valentine then makes his entrance in the flesh, struts on stage under a shower of crimson petals. Alongside him stalks his steel wall of an assistant, Anastasia Keller, metal clipboard in hand. Valentine holds a scarlet “Valentine Velvet” rose at his heart, which he tosses into the crowd on his way to the ring, all the while blowing kisses to the aggressively jeering members of the Army.
Artemis sighs, shaking her head.
Artemis Direction: I really am conflicted over Mr. Valentine. On the one hand - such extravagance! Such pageantry! Such delightful excess! But on the other...
Del Ramos: The weird, abusive contract he has that kid under?
Artemis Direction: Precisely, darling! I mean, really, it just makes it that juicier for me, personally, but I very much am that bitch.
Kevin Kim: From Cape Elizabeth, Maine and weighing in at 219 pounds, the reigning Emerald City Champion, Roy Valentine! And his opponent--
As the sharp whistling sound of Mara’s entrance music cuts through the air, the crowd begins jeering again, though with a different quality about it--something more acidic. There is something unwholesome about the way she strides to the ring, not a motion wasted. The only thing that would suggest any distraction from her destination is the motion of her eyes; casting back and forth among the assembled as if assessing them.
Kevin Kim: From Bellevue, Washington and weighing 185 pounds, Mara Lang!
Hiro Suzuki: This is the first time Mara is going to be fighting since losing Sebastian Hawke as her… experimental subject.
Del laughs lowly.
Del Ramos: You know she’s got a lot of anger to take out. Lang’s one of those, ‘everyone and everything in their place,’ types. The rabble starts getting ideas, the wrathful upper crust are going to start showing them exactly what they think about noblesse oblige.
For a tense moment, the pair seem to be sizing each other up, daring the other to make the first move. In the end, it’s Lang who moves first, dashing forward--Roy meets her near the middle though, ducking under her short-arm lariat with a swan’s grace and just as much vitriol in his intent. Using his momentum to bounce off the ropes and rush back, he catches Lang just as she turns around with his signature Whipvine! Lang hits the canvas, brought down by the immediate full-steam angle of her opponent. It’s clear he doesn’t want her to have time to think.
Del Ramos: Valentine looking to end this early, I think.
Roy leaps for a cover!
ONE!
TW-- NO!
Artemis Direction: I’m sure if he can avoid having to deal with the less savory aspects of an Underworld rules match, Valentine will do his utmost.
Del Ramos: C’mon, you fucking posey, don’t be shy! RIP EACH OTHER’S SPLEENS OUT THROUGH YOUR BELLY BUTTONS!
Instinct kicks in, and Lang slips under the ropes as Valentine tries to grab her. A bit unsteady, she turns to look at him, daring him to follow with a smirk, and takes off into one of the Underground’s many corridors. Valentine’s face creases with fury and he vaults over the top rope, landing in a run as he takes off after her. In the commotion, the sound of something shattering is drowned out.
Del Ramos: THAT’S IT! HERE WE FUCKIN’ GO! INTO THE HEART OF DARKNESS, YOU PREENING ASS CLOWNS!
In the next chamber--what looks like what used to be a bar or a pub of some kind-- Mara is waiting beside the door frame. As Roy rushes into the room, she steps out behind him, going for a grab! Valentine manages to get an arm out, grasping something--which ends up being a splintered, broken broomstick leaning against the wall--and drives it viciously into the top of Mara’s foot!
Hiro and Artemis cry out in sympathy while Del cheers the viciousness on.
Hiro Suzuki: I’ve heard thorns being stuck in paws before, but this is on a totally different level!
Artemis Direction: She’s going to need one helluva pedi to get that back in order, sweetheart!
Lang buckles in reflex, stumbling. Sensing an opportunity, Valentine reels the splintered wooden weapon back, grinning with the anticipation of the weapon meeting the side of his opponent’s head--
--when he’s met with a swift and sudden superkick, courtesy of Lang’s injured foot!
Del roars their approval.
Del Ramos: FUCKING BRUTAL!
Hiro Suzuki: Downright toeriffic!
Del Ramos: DO NOT MAKE ME RIP OUT YOUR TRACHEA WITH CROCHET NEEDLES AND MAKE A GODDAMN VOTIVE OUT OF IT!
Hiro Suzuki: ...You crochet, too!?
Del Ramos: I’LL MAKE A FUCKING MACRAME PLANT HANGER OUT OF YOUR INTESTINES IF YOU DON’T SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Hiro Suzuki: Who are you?!
Valentine is knocked to the ground, and immediately arches up in pain, hissing through his teeth. That shattering sound earlier was an old, dusty glass, which now lays in shards beneath Valentine’s spine! Lang doesn’t waste any time, going to roll Valentine over to trap him in a Sharpshooter. Roy kicks at her injured lower leg in an attempt to throw her off balance, which seems to be working until Lang lets her downward momentum drop her weight onto her opponent. There’s a brief struggle, both fighters with glittering fractals of glass embedded in their skin and beading red--and then Lang manages to get her hand up to Roy’s face, pinning him down in her Novocaine!
Artemis cringes, hands fluttering to her collarbone.
Artemis Direction: Shoving your fingers into someone’s mouth like that is simply revolting!
Hiro Suzuki: They’re rolling around in broken glass and that’s what has you wincing!?
Artemis Direction: I am a drag artist. It is not a matter of asking whether or not I have hot-glued rhinestones directly onto my ass but rather, how many times I have done so! Broken glass? Sweetheart, don’t make mother laugh; I’ll crease my foundation.
Between the pain (and disgust) of Mara’s nerve-stinging move and the glass stinging at his back. Roy’s had enough. Nothing is worth this--live to fight in one piece another day. Grimacing in pain and rage, he taps!
Kevin Kim: The winner of this match by submission--Mara Lang!
When Roy is able to wrest himself to his feet, blood seeping from his back, the look he gives Lang is downright venomous. She’d pay for this… indignity.
Del lets out a darkly mirthful laugh.
Del Ramos: That’s what I wanna see! Valentine’s always fun to watch when he’s good and pissed. He’s just so fucking mean when he’s got vengeance on his mind.
Hiro Suzuki: Roy’s not the kind of guy to wait around for a rematch, either. He’s awfully impatiens.
Artemis Direction: Just a moment, darlings, I’m getting some chatter from the back…
Belle Silva walks through the Underground, camera bobbing slightly as it follows her before she suddenly freezes. Faintly, echoing off the walls of the underground area, we hear flesh striking flesh, grunts of exertion.
Belle Silva: Does that sound like a brawl to you?! C’mon, this way!
Belle takes off at a quick jog, camera following. A moment later they round a corner just in time to see 'Culture Clash' Kyle Beckett stepping out of a doorway, looking perhaps a little flustered but grinning, giving a nod to the interviewer and cameraman as he walks past them.
A moment later the door opens again, 'Wildheart' Amelia Winston staggering out on slightly shaky legs, adjusting her Red Riding Hood outfit, hair a mess, a big smile on her face. She freezes when she spots the camera, blinking for a second before shrugging.
Amelia Winston: No comment.
With that she walks past them, the camera turning to follow her as she continues to fix her hair and dress as best she can as we fade out.
Del nods sagely.
Del Ramos: Ah, yes. A special time in a wrestler’s life when they get to indulge in being battle horny.
Artemis Direction: Do go on, darling!
Del Ramos: You get yourself that close to death, it makes your body scream for life that much louder. Winston just survived a clash with a giant and Beckett’s got one of the biggest fights of his career thus far going down tonight. Prime time for battle horniness.
Artemis Direction: How illuminating! And now we return to Ms. Silva as she hosts another edition of Beyond the Belle!
“Gave You Everything” by The Interrupters rings out and the fans pop as the forever buoyant Belle Silva bounds out on stage. She smiles and waves at the crowd before heading down the ramp and getting into the ring. Grabbing a mic from the seat set up for her she smiles before yelling.
Belle Silva: ASCENDED ARMY!!! HOW WE DOIN’ TONIGHT?!
The fans of course pop and Belle waits for them to simmer to a dull roar before continuing.
Belle Silva: At Collision 7 we got Beyond the Belle started off right with a guest appearance by Sebastian Hawke, otherwise known as The Insensate! This show I have something special in store for you. Sebastian’s opponent from Ascension, the reigning World Champion, and an all-around great person to be around… A man who needs no introduction but deserves one nonetheless… Silvio Leon!
The opening guitar solo from Kyle Primus’ cover of Superstition goes echoing around the subterranean arena, the lights flickering to life around the top of the entrance ramp as Silvio Leon strides out with a grin, fist bumping, giving finger guns, and pausing for a few selfies as he makes his way into the ring. Sliding in, he gets to his feet, smiling as he gives Belle a high five. The crowd settles as the two take their seats.
Belle Silva: Wow! What a reception as always. Ladies and gents let’s hear it one more time for our World Champion!
The Ascended Army pop once more and Belle lets them settle before continuing.
Belle Silva: Silvio, thanks for being here! To get things started, how has your transition to Ascended Wrestling been?
Silvio Leon: So far so good. I get to come back to my hometown, I’m representing the company, I get to fight new opponents and make new stories with people. What’s not to love?
Belle smiles.
Belle Silva: Well that answers my next question! How is it to be the Ascended’s World Champion and at the same time represent your hometown?
Silvio Leon: It’s… humbling, honestly. I’m grateful I get to be back home. I missed this place a lot. And I’m happy that I get to share the place I love with so many of the people who have come to be important to me over my career so far. Being a champion isn’t just about the belt, either. Like I said - it’s not about glorifying yourself. It’s about representing the roster, bringing prestige to the title, and helping others get to where they want to be. It’s about responsibility and leadership. I just want to be the best version of myself, the best competitor I can be, while the spotlight’s on me.
The fans once again pops for Silvio and Belle joins them.
Belle Silva: Now that we’ve talked about one half of the coin, let’s talk about the other half. In your title match at Ascension we saw you take on someone you know outside of the ring, Sebastian Hawke. Is that the biggest challenge you’ve faced since starting with Ascended? What other challenges do you expect to encounter during your time as champion?
Silvio looks wistful for a moment before answering.
Silvio Leon: I’d hesitate to call any one match my most challenging. Every match has its own challenges that are unique to your situation and opponent. The fight with Seb was definitely my most personal, though. I’m hoping that Seb is able to move forward and be the kind of wrestler and champion I know he is. I want to be there with him every step of the way. On that note, I want to thank Adam and Sherah Prince and Bo Fletcher for the help they offered him.
He grins.
Silvio Leon: And you wanna talk about challenges? I mean, jeez, either one of the Prince cousins would be a hell of an opponent to find myself across the ring from. It’s going to happen sooner or later, and I want to make sure I’m equal to the challenge when it comes. SKUP9 is another person I’ve got my eye on. That guy has been on a tear lately, and if your sphincter doesn’t clench just a little at the thought of fighting that guy, I advise you take some time to look over his matches. Frater Perdurabo’s intimidating as all get out, and just because he lost a few matches, that doesn’t mean he isn’t absolutely capable when it comes to ass-kicking. Eleni Tolis has shown us some techniques that, uh… can definitely make a fella - and statistically speaking some of the ladies and enby babes - think about something other than the match at hand. Chiba Suzumiya’s a woman on a mission; she’s out to change the face of wrestling and bring people along for the ride. Getting in the path of a believer is a bad idea. The Pit? That guy exudes pure Tartarus energy. You get into that ring with him and you’d better expect a merry stroll through the Ninth Circle.
I’ve been in the ring with Valentine, but not since he’s become champ. Gold changes a person, and I’m seeing him flaunt a bit more of that viciousness lately that makes him a dangerous person in a fight. Davie and I have faced off before, but he’s the kind of guy that learns from every match; adapts. I doubt he’ll be the same wrestler I fought last time. I’ve had my eye on Jimmy Allen. He’s got an admirable pedigree, but that isn’t as important to me as what I’ve seen from him in the ring. Lang is someone who just doesn’t care about the pain she endures; invites it. What do you do with an opponent like that? Zephyr and Kane are my friends, but I imagine we’re going to have to get into it at some point. Fighting an opponent is one thing. It’s another entirely when they're good friends.
He spreads his hands.
Silvio Leon: I’ve said everyone on the roster is deserving of gold, and I meant it. Whoever I step into the ring with is going to test me, and vice versa.
Belle leans forward with interest painted across her face.
Belle Silva: Can you give us any insight into what kind of tests you’re planning for any of the mentioned names?
Silvio hums thoughtfully, raising a brow.
Silvio Leon: I don’t know that I have anything planned in particular as far as tests go. Everyone has something different to offer in the ring. I’d say they’re just as likely to be testing me. As I’ve said before, every match is a lesson and every fighter is a teacher. I want to learn what they have to teach me.
Belle sits back satisfied with the answer.
Belle Silva: If there was one thing you could say or do, to make your title reign, the first in Ascended’s history, the most memorable, what would it be?
Silvio grins, dark eyes glimmering like embers.
Silvio Leon: Make it to three defenses.
Belle laughs.
Belle Silva: In your estimation, who will be the next person to challenge you for your title? I know you dropped a few names earlier but as Highlander said, 'there can be only one.'"
Silvio Leon: Well, I gotta keep the thing first, though I appreciate the vote of confidence, Ms. Silva! You have excellent taste. But to your question - considering his record and what I’ve seen from him recently? The Eliminator’s looking like he deserves a shot. We have a PPV coming up, so a challenge for the World title involving SKUP might be just what the doctor ordered. If I do make three defenses, though, I’m planning on vacating the title. And after that? Well, a company-wide tournament for the next champ sounds pretty damn exciting, if you ask me.
Belle nods in agreement.
Belle Silva: And then some! Silvio, thank you so much for joining me tonight! Is there anything you'd like to leave the Ascended Army and everyone in the back with? Any departing words?
Silvio Leon: I want to thank everyone for what they’ve done to bring me this far. The fans for believing in me, and everyone I’ve fought and what those matches have helped me learn. I’m not going to let you down. I’m going to show everyone exactly why this is the best promotion in the business.
The crowd once again pops and Belle stands to give Silvio a hug before raising his hand.
Belle Silva: Ladies and gentlemen YOUR ASCENDED WORLD CHAMPION, SILVIO LEON!
The crowd pops as the cameras fade.
Hiro Suzuki: Leon does bring up a good point - he might not be the person to walk out of this show with the belt. If Beckett does win, that means his first challenger may very well be the man who beat him before he won his belt.
Artemis grins, giving a little wiggle of delight.
Artemis Direction: How positively delicious with drama. Speaking of, how about our next battle?
Del Ramos: Two monsters worthy of the Underworld. This whole show was made to showcase fuckers like them. We’re gonna be wading through the blood!
Kevin Kim: The following bout is set for one fall! Introducing first!
The unrelenting introduction of "The Heaviest Matter of the Universe" is accompanied by strobes flashing in time with the drums as Frater Perdurabo emerges onto the stage. He wastes no time heading down the ramp and stops once he reaches ringside.
Kevin Kim: Hailing from Cefalù, Sicily weighing in at 336 pounds, he is, ‘Necesse Malum,’ FRATER PERDURABO!
Frater reaches up, takes hold of the ropes, hauls his frame up onto the apron, then climbs over the top rope. Once in the ring, Frater heads to the opposite end and paces back and forth between the corners as the building's lighting returns to normal.
Del Ramos: Think Kev’s lookin’ a little nervous sharing the ring with Perdurabo again?
Artemis Direction: Del, he’s going to hear that you called him ‘Kev.’
A look of horror dawns on Ramos’ face.
Del Ramos: Oh, fuck he’s gonna be like a fuckin’ puppy - shit! Can we delete that part of the broadcast?!
Kevin Kim: And his opponent!
"Send Me An Angel" rings out as the fans in attendance pop. Zephyr Quinn comes out to the stage, on her own. A look of pure confidence crosses over Zephyr's face as she strolls to the ring.
Artemis Direction: Lest anyone think this is a mis-matched fight, Zephyr Quinn nearly hanged a man in our first PPV!
Del sighs with wistful delight.
Del Ramos: What a fuckin’ night that was.
Zephyr hops up lightly onto the apron, posing in the center of the ring as the music fades. Slowly, she turns to stare down Frater with icy eyes.
Del Ramos: Looks like we might see something just as memorable here tonight.
The pair begin to circle one another, movements characterized by the focused fluidity typically reserved for some predatory animal stalking its prey. Zephyr moves first, fast and sharp as a javelin with boxing-style jabs. Frater moves with surprising speed for someone his size, and as Zephyr tries to duck into his reach, he hits her with a rising clothesline that sends her to the mat! She takes advantage of the angle, however, her long legs curling back before slamming heels-first into Frater’s knee! Grunting, he takes a knee and eats a headbutt from Zephyr as she climbs to her feet! Frater reels, but manages to stay upright, Zephyr catching hold of his head and cocking back a fist to rain punishment down upon him, the crowd counting along!
One!
Two!
Three!
Fou--
Just as it’s about to strike home another time, however, Perdurabo’s hand moves with unnerving speed, Quinn’s fist thudding into his palm. He begins to squeeze, and Quinn cries out in pain!
Del Ramos: Doesn’t matter if it’s balled into a fist - there’s all kinds of nerves in the hands. An injury there hurts like a bitch.
Frater gets to his feet, smirking as Zephyr grimaces. He turns hard, whipping Quinn into the ropes and hitting her with a low-angle shoulder block as she comes hurdling back at him! She hits the mat but continues to roll under the bottom rope and off the edge to the floor below. Perdurabo stalks toward the side of the ring, intent on his opponent, steps growing quicker as he spies her getting to her feet, still hunched over. Frater goes for a suicide dive, only for Zephyr to straighten up at the last minute, revealing a brick clutched in her hands that Perdurabo goes flying into head first! The pair both hit the floor hard, Zephyr grunting as she’s momentarily crushed by her opponent, who is already bleeding liberally from a cut to the head! Quinn gasps, trying to gather herself and regain the wind that was knocked out of her. Managing to find enough strength and breath, she turns him over and goes for a pin, Jill Kincaid right at their sides!
One!
Two!
Kick out from Perdurabo!
Artemis Direction: Gutsy move from Quinn!
Hiro Suzuki: Hey, how do you throw an egg against a brick wall without breaking it?
Artemis Direction: I don’t know, darling, how?
Hiro Suzuki: Pff, don’t be silly there’s no way an egg would break a brick wall!
Del Ramos: We could give it the old college try with your melon, Suzuki.
Face steadily becoming a mask of crimson, Frater’s smile is that much brighter white in comparison; a ghastly, knife-like thing. Quinn’s eyes only narrow, jaw set at a determined angle. Reaching beneath the ring, Perdurabo draws out two bundles of fluorescent light tubes taped together, beckoning for Quinn to approach. She smirks, heaving aside her brick and catching the bundle that Perdurabo tosses at her. As soon as it’s in her hand, though, he’s on the attack, bellowing and swinging down with the lights hard into her side, shattering them in a shower of pale, white glass. Zephyr yelps, trying to bend away and using her momentum to swing upward, shattering her own weapon against Frater’s back! Pushing through the pain, he gets upright first, grabbing onto Zephyr’s throat and lifting her up to deliver a brutal Culling of the Weak directly onto the broken glass shards! Quinn howls with pain even as Perdurabo goes for the pin!
One!
Two!
Th--
Quinn kicks out!
Del is laughing maniacally.
Del Ramos: WHAT DID I TELL YOU?! WADING IN THE BLOOD! AHAHAHAHA!
Indeed, both opponents are cut in multiple places, blood plastered to their skin and smeared across the ground upon which they’ve been fighting. Frater, breath ragged, eyes wild, is gathering himself as Zephyr finds a hidden well of energy still within her. She drags a steel folding chair out from under the ring and hurls them onto the canvas. She has something else in her hands, though it’s difficult to see. Crawling back into the ring and pulling herself upright using the turnbuckles, she pops the chair open and sets it up in the center of the ring. She watches as Perdurabo rises from the carpet of shattered glass, and the other object she brought into the ring with her is revealed to be barbed wire, which she has just finished winding around her fist! As Frater surges back into the ring, Zephyr charges forward, using the chair as a launching point to get that much more height on the barbed-wire enforced Swift Determination she nails the big man with! They both go down, Zephyr snarling in agony at the barbed wire points now embedded in her knuckles even as she goes for the pin!
One!
Two!
Th--
NO! Perdurabo barely gets a shoulder up!
Hiro Suzuki: We… um… should we maybe stop this? I get that it’s Underworld rules and all, but… isn’t Marcus gonna be pissed if they bleed to death?
Del Ramos: FUCK HIM HE KNEW WHAT HE WAS GETTING INTO WHEN HE SET THIS UP! Besides, he’s so fuckin’ rich I’m sure he could afford to fuckin’ T-Virus them back to life to fight again or something. I mean, damn, that’d actually be pretty sweet…
For a few moments both fighters just lay on the canvas, surely dizzy from pain and blood loss. Setting his teeth, Frater is the first to get up, grabbing the arm of a wavering Zephyr Quinn and hauling her upright. He grips her arm, seeming ready to whip her back into the ropes, but Quinn finds her wits and quickly raises her foot, setting up a Get Rec’d that sends Frater slamming back down to the mat! The crowd is roaring as she crawls over to her opponent where he lays tangled in the steel chair. As she reaches to go for the pin, however, Frater’s hand goes for her head! He grips a fistful of hair and slams Zephyr’s head into the chair! While she’s dazed, Frater gets to his knees, sets his teeth, and proceeds to apply his Mouth of Madness move, however instead of a second hand gripping the side of Quinn’s head to apply pressure, he’s shoving it against the steel chair on the mat!
Artemis lets out a cry and Hiro covers his eyes.
Hiro Suzuki: JESUS CHRIST MAKE HIM STOP!
Del Ramos: NOT A CHANCE, SUZUKI! SATAN CALLS THE SHOTS HERE AND HE’S ALL FOR THIS SHIT!
Kincaid is in the ring with the pair, checking on both. She lifts Zephyr’s arm once… twice… three times to no response! Snapping upright, she calls for the bell!
Kevin Kim: Your winner by submission, ‘Necesse Malum,’ FRATER PERDURABO!
As soon as the bell rings, Frater collapses beside his opponent. Ernest Conagher and his team of medics are rushing the ring, neither combatant on their feet as the EMTs tend to the worst of their wounds.
Del is practically frothing at the mouth, their werewolf costume seeming all the more authentic for it.
Del Ramos: That’s my fucking life’s blood right there.
Hiro Suzuki: Jeez...and more than a little of theirs, too.
Artemis Direction: While our team cleans up the… generous donation of what I am sure counts as double red blood cells, we take you back to the dressing area where an encounter between the World Champion and his worthy Challenger is taking place!
While it’s uncertain what the original purpose of the now subterranean room once was, presently, it’s being used as a changing room. The ‘backstage’ of the Underground arena is a simple affair; there’s only so much one can build from the bones of a dead city. As Silvio Leon puts the finishing touches on some skeletal face paint, giving himself a last once-over in the mirror, he notices a figure moving up behind him and turns with a smile.
Silvio Leon: Hey, dude!
Dressed in khaki shorts, shirt, and hiking boots, Kyle Beckett strides into the room.
Leon looks amused.
Silvio Leon: Let me guess-Steve Irwin?
Kyle grins in return.
Kyle Beckett: Bloody oath mate! The bloke's legit. He made a career dealing with the world's most dangerous animals and no cap I'm about to step into the ring for possibly the hardest challenge of my life. So invoking his spirit seemed fitting. He's a a true blue Aussie icon, a real leg, and call it aspirational, but all those cobbers out there are calling for us, cheering for us, to : near beat the living shit out of each other, and low-key I've like to think my name could one day be placed next to his
Silvio Leon: Hell yeah, man! You got a lot of spine doing what you’ve done. I admire your courage. I know you hear this a lot, but it takes guts to leave home for a totally different country. I hope Seattle’s been treating you right.
Kyle Beckett: Eh. It’s been low-key cheugy. Fair dinkum. But I ain’t here to go through that bizzo again. I’m here to hit you for a bloody six. No shade of course mate. No word of a lie, I’m stoked, pretty fucking excited for this moment. So don’t come a gutser and choke out there eh?
Silvio grins, his skeletal make-up exaggerating the expression, reeling in mock indignation.
Silvio Leon: Perish the thought! It’s best two out of three, Beckett. I’m not eager to be added to anyone’s pin collection, even if I do even the score.
His expression changes subtly; a knife’s edge being seen briefly glinting from its sheath.
Silvio Leon: Just don’t go burning out early on me.
Kyle Beckett: You’re dreamin!
Silvio Leon: This is my first defense, your first challenge, and the first time either of us is doing an Underworld rules match. If I don’t make you mistake the Underground for Hades itself, I’m not doing my job.
Patting Kyle on the shoulder, he gives a wave as he heads down the hallway, murmuring to himself.
Silvio Leon: Where was Violence?
He snaps, remembering.
Silvio Leon: Oh, right! Catch you in the Seventh Circle, Beckett!
Del Ramos: Taught the kid what he needs to know, huh Artemis?
Artemis Direction: Sweetness as if I needed to. I swear every child I take in has an occult phase. It’s just natural! Action figures and dolls, tea parties and sleepovers, kitten heels and clip-on ties, invoking the Hellish forces of the other side and joining their dark crusade, getting their driver’s license, prom - it’s just the typical progression!
Hiro Suzuki: We’re definitely about to see some big steps from our next combatants!
Artemis Direction: That’s certainly true, dear! ‘Hell on Heels,’ Eleni Tolis, and ‘Adorable’ Adam Prince! It’s safe to say that doing an underworld match for them is well outside of their typical wheelhouse.
Del Ramos: And like I told you - don’t for a second take these two for anything other than what they are deep down. Vicious. You put someone’s back against a wall, I don’t care how nice they are under normal circumstances. You see what they’re really made of.
Kevin Kim: The following contest is set for one fall! Introducing first!
Lights go out as the lyrics, 'I'm hell on heels.... I'm hell on heels, baby I'm comin' for you,' come over the sound system. Eleni, dressed in pink gear trimmed in black and a fashion robe, accompanied by her manager, Carl Ross, stands on the entrance ramp with her fingers in a heart shaped symbol made dangerous by the razor-tipped gloves she’s sporting.
Kevin Kim: From Los Angeles, California, weighing in at 115 pounds, she is Hell on Heels, ELENI TOLIS!
As Eleni breaks the heart, she spins around with a smirk on her face and puts up a, 'Talk to hand,' to the fans. Some try to take pictures as she walks to the ring, but Eleni blocks their cameras, telling them, 'you can't afford it.' She walks up the ring steps, entering under the middle rope. Standing in the middle of the ring, she uses the clawed gloves to slice the robe away before slowly dropping it to the canvas and blowing a kiss.
Artemis Direction: Eleni has a unique way of conducting herself in the ring. She isn’t afraid to use unconventional methods to get results.
Del Ramos: I think it’s brutal that’s how she’s taking advantage of battle horniness. Good for her.
Kevin Kim: And her opponent!
"Warriors" by Aaliyah Rose begins to play over the PA system and yellow lights strobe and pulse to the beat as the Princes of Power, "Adorable" Adam and "Iron Man" Sherah Prince, and their manager, "Beautiful" Bo Fletcher, step out onto the stage.
Kevin Kim: From Prima Porta, Italy, weighing in at 206 pounds, he is the ‘Adorable’ ADAM PRINCE!
Adam bounces and dances to the music for a moment, showboating for the crowd, before the trio make their way down the aisle. Upon reaching the ring, Sherah climbs the stairs and continues up the outside of the turnbuckles while Adam slides into the ring and ascends the ropes on the opposite side. The two of them look out over the audience, pointing at the fans and pumping their fists in the air.
Hiro Suzuki: You really have to appreciate the positive energy this trio just radiates! Hey, what would the only son of a sun be?
Artemis Direction: I don’t know, dear, what?
Hiro Suzuki: The sol heir to all his property!
Back at the ring, Sherah offers Adam a kendo stick, which the Adorable one takes from his cousin’s hands as if pulling Excalibur from the stone.
Eleni strides toward Adam, tossing her fiery hair over one shoulder and giving him a wink. Adam remains wary, giving Tolis a wide berth, holding his weapon at the ready. Eleni moves quickly, darting in to swipe at Prince, who parries with his kendo stick and twists out of the way! He follows the motion, bending to knock Eleni’s legs out from under her with his weapon! As she crashes to the canvas, he follows up with a few strikes of his kendo stick, which she rolls away from. Popping up to her feet, she swipes upward at him again with her clawed gloves! Adam bends backward enough to avoid disaster, though his chin still gets nicked by the blades. Encouraged by drawing first blood, Tolis presses the attack, swinging around behind Prince with feline grace and speed, tangling him up in an abdominal stretch, his kendo stick sent flying! Grinning wickedly, she rakes the claws of one hand across Adam’s stomach, leaving scarlet rents across his skin! He yelps in pain, but grits his teeth, tenses himself and pitches his body to one side, using his weight advantage to send them both toppling to the mat, Adam landing hard on top of his opponent! As she lays dazed for a moment on the canvas, Prince takes the opportunity to divest her of one glove, hurling it away before she finds her wits again and rolls away from him with a snarl.
Del Ramos: Good call trimming the claws. Those gloves are wicked.
Spying his kendo stick, Adam goes for it, only for Eleni to put herself between the wrestler and his weapon. She swipes at him with her gloved hand, but he rolls beneath her swing, surging to his feet and snapping around to hit Tolis with a standing discus lariat as she turns to face him! She hits the canvas and he goes for the pin, Godric Smith sliding in for the count!
One!
Two!
Kick out from Tolis!
Artemis Direction: Quick thinking and quicker action from Prince!
Hiro Suzuki: You know how the cat got an A+ on its English exam? It correctly used an independent claws!
Del looks forlornly at their hands, shaking their head.
Del Ramos: Claws. Why didn’t I think to make it with claws? Finger knives would solve every problem I have right now.
Artemis Direction: Eleni seems to share your sentiment, darling!
Adam tries to get Eleni’s other glove off her, but she curls away before he can. Shifting gears, he goes back to retrieve his kendo stick, but yelps as Eleni grabs his face with one clawed hand and shoves him backward. Instead of toppling, he follows the motion, somersaulting back up to his feet. Frustrated, Eleni takes a few steps forward, but Prince is already in motion, bouncing off the ropes behind him and taking her down to the mat again with a flying forearm smash! Kipping up, Adam makes a lunge for his kendo stick, only to have it dragged out of reach by Eleni’s manager, Carl Ross! As Sherah and Bo go to deal with Ross, Adam snaps around just in time for Tolis to slap him across the face with her bare hand! As Prince reels in shock for a moment, Eleni takes advantage and hits him with a Stun Gun for the Selfie! Not letting up, she goes for a pin!
One!
Tw-
Kick out from Prince!
Artemis Direction: Well this certainly has been quite a display!
Del Ramos: C’MON, PRINCE! GET THE STICK AND START WHALING ON HER WHAT’S THE HOLD UP?!
Both opponents climb to their knees, eyeing each other, breathing hard. Adam winces a little, gripping the cuts on his stomach and Tolis smirks, raising one clawed fingertip to her lip in mock innocence, batting her eyelashes.
Eleni Tolis: Oopsie! Did the mean, mean kitty cat hurt Prince Charming?
Adam just shakes his head with a little half smile before he makes a lunge forward. Tolis moves to counter, only to find it’s a feint, Prince hitting her with a neat hip toss! As she crashes to the mat, winded, he takes a few quick steps toward the ropes, springing back onto her in a tight moonsault that hits its mark to the delight of the crowd! Eleni writhes in pain, trying to lever herself up to her elbows as Adam leans down and drags her upward, positioning her for a scoop slam! Tolis struggles mightily, getting Adam off his balance and landing awkwardly on her feet. Not giving her the opportunity to get her bearings, Prince locks his arms through Eleni’s, swinging her around for a Rebel Rouser and going for the pin!
One!
Two!
Thr--
Kick out from Tolis!
Hiro Suzuki: It’s dizzying just watching that exchange!
Both opponents lay still for a few moments, trying to catch their breath. Seeing his kendo stick at the edge of the ring, Adam begins to crawl toward it, evening out his breathing and steadying his focus. As he reaches the ropes, however, the back of his head is seized roughly by a clawed hand and before he can do anything to protect himself, Adam finds his face being slammed repeatedly into the mat! Seeing stars, he’s too dazed to prevent Eleni from using the bottom rope to choke him!
Artemis Direction: Good heavens I think we may have another winner via submission! If Eleni keeps this up, Adam is going to pass out from lack of oxygen!
Adam is struggling to keep from doing just that, writhing and trying to somehow loosen Eleni’s grip without causing the claws to sink further into the back of his head. Gritting his teeth and closing his eyes, he stretches his hand out one last time, grabs the handle of his kendo stick, and slams it up in an arc over his head as hard as he can, square in the center of Eleni’s forehead! She goes slamming backward into the canvas behind them!
Del lets out a delighted bark of laughter while their companions wince audibly.
Hiro Suzuki: Jeez that looks like what I get when I try to do calculus!
Artemis Direction: What’s that dear?
Hiro Suzuki: A headache!
Adam uses his kendo stick to help him get back to his feet, he shakes his head, rubbing at his throat from where it was pressed against the bottom rope. He coughs hoarsely as Tolis begins, slowly, to stir, climbing to one knee and glowering balefully at Prince. Bristling, she lets out a war cry as she flies at him, going for elbows, swiping at him with her clawed glove, only for him to knock her blows away! She gets another good score across his chest with her blades, and he hisses in pain before he strikes her across the backs of her knees, sending her sprawling onto the mat! Grabbing her legs and positioning his kendo stick across the back of her shoulders, he twists Tolis into the Honourbound! With the added pinch of the bamboo digging into her back, Eleni makes an admirable effort to hang in there, reaching desperately for any rope but finding none she can grasp. Left without any other options, she grits her teeth and taps!
Kevin Kim: Your winner by submission, ‘Adorable’ ADAM PRINCE!
Sherah and Bo join Adam in the ring as he celebrates, being careful of the cuts he’s endured, giving him high-fives, fist bumps, and laughter.
Artemis Direction: Quite the foray into the ring, wouldn’t you say?
Hiro Suzuki: From both fighters!
Del Ramos: What did I fuckin’ tell you? Watch out for the nice ones. They’re always the ones that snap hardest.
A slow smile curls Del’s features.
Del Ramos: Well...usually. I’d say that the next fight? Well, it’s probably got one of the hardest hitters in the whole damn business.
Artemis Direction: Be that as it may, we simply cannot discount Mr. O’Toole in this fight with the Rat King. He’s a clever man and has proven time and again he’s very scrappy; resourceful.
Hiro Suzuki: I’d say this is another David and Goliath, but let’s be honest - who doesn’t LRK dwarf?
Kevin Kim: The following contest is set for one fall! Introducing first!
As the dramatic string introduction of ‘I’m Shipping Up to Boston,’ kicks in, the lights around the big screen pulse green and gold in time with the beat. The screen shows an overhead view of an industrial district, hanging in mid-air for a moment before diving down to the alleys below to show gritty images of hands being taped up, quick footwork of fighters wearing work boots instead of ring boots, and blood spattering against brick walls.
Kevin Kim: From Astoria, Oregon, weighing in at 190 pounds, the Sidewinder, DAVID O’TOOLE!
Dressed in plain black ring pants without design or decor, black ring boots, and an army green hoodie, and tonight marked with patches of an abstract snakeskin design, David O’Toole steps out of the entrance, pausing for a moment at the top of the ramp before making his way down, his steps purposeful.
As he hops down into the pit, he reaches into his hoodie pocket to pull out a pocket watch-sized pendent of a purple and green nazar on a long chain. He holds it up and turns to show the crowd, gives the chain a few earnest tugs to show that it won't easily break, then carefully hands it to Jill Kincaid.
Artemis Direction: Oh, yes! There’s a bit of a hitch to this one, isn’t there?
Del Ramos: Right - he has to do a little pick pocketing or something.
Hiro shakes his head.
Hiro Suzuki: This is so strange. Is this some other weird snag in that contract Valentine had him sign?
Artemis Direction: He seems to have these other little challenges added onto his matches, but… to what end? Just for the sake of themselves?
Del Ramos: Some fuckers are just like that - they want to find ways to lord it over you however they can. It doesn’t matter if it’s weird or nonsensical as long as they get their jollies. And I mean, shit, you can say a lot about Valentine, but does he look like the kind of guy whose idea of fun would be anything close to normal?
Hiro Suzuki: You have a point...
Then he moves toward the referee’s table, shrugging off his hoodie, and hands it off to Godric Smith. He comes back, holding out his arms—his green tank has no sleeves, and from his taped hands to his boots Jill Kincaid affirms that O’Toole has nowhere he could be hiding a second charm.
Kevin Kim: And his opponent!
The screens display a flickering, static-struck screen with the crowned rat logo, bone-white over a black and red spattered background as the first riffs of "Hail to the King" begin playing; when the first heavy thrums of rhythm guitar in the music strike, the logo shudders and glitches, electricity running through it from left to right like a broken heartbeat. Below the screens the entrance is flooded with rolling fog cast in blood-red light and white strobe lights that match the beat of the song and of the electric shock waves on the screen.
Kevin Kim: From Portland, Oregon and weighing in at 285 pounds—Ascended Wrestling's reigning Underworld Champion—THE LAB RAT KING!
The Lab Rat King enters this great hall of his domain, the Underworld title belt slung on one shoulder, his slow and deliberate steps taking him down toward the ring. There's something bestial about the way he moves, like an animated gargoyle—the Underground’s rightful savage sovereign. He's accompanied by his wife and valet, Grace King, who seems to keep him from lunging at the jeering crowd with nothing but a hand on his arm and a smirk of her own.
Artemis Direction: Now this is going go be something uniquely bloody, if my guess is right.
Del grins.
Del Ramos: Fuck yeah it will be. We got the Underworld Champion in his domain with the deadliest prey to contend with. And Davie has the spine to play games while this is all going on? My Satan’s sweet beard, this is gonna be glorious.
Once he reaches the edge, Grace cranes up to give him a kiss on the muzzle as she takes the belt from him, and he moves almost animalistic down onto the mat, standing up slowly. David gives a low, slow nod as King rises—King merely stares him down, still except for the swell of his breath. Cautiously Jill holds the pendent out to LRK. He barely moves to look at the ref, then suddenly snatches it out of their hand. She startles, which gets a grunt of amusement from King, and he fixes the chain to his belt.
O’Toole extends a fist to him in a show of respect. King pauses, then starts to reach out with his fist—only to lash out and grab O’Toole’s arm and hurl him across the ring. David tucks to roll as soon as he hits the ground, and as fast as he can manage he's back on his feet—and he’s smiling with excitement.
Del Ramos: THAT’S THE FUCKIN’ SPIRIT!
LRK hurls a colossal right fist—O’Toole ducks, and immediately twists up into an enziguri into King’s side! Riding the momentum he strikes with two quick jabs and a left cross to King’s jaw, staggering him further, and immediately David backpedals. Now he has room to run to LRK, duck behind him, and keep running to leap up and vault himself out of the pit! King whips around as he regains his feet, searching for the Sidewinder, when a sharp whistle cuts the air. O’Toole has a good head-start up to one of the tunnel entrances, but he’s paused to catch King’s eye—with both hands he invites King up, he throws his thumb back over his shoulder, and the message is clear: Let’s go, you wanna play?
Hiro Suzuki: Is O’Toole out of his mind!?
Del Ramos: Heh! Got ourselves a good ‘ol game of cat and mouse!
Artemis Direction: I think you mean, ‘rat and mouse,’ darling.
King grins behind his muzzle, and with a roar he charges up and after O’Toole, nearly on all fours. David makes good on his head start, flying up into the tunnel, and overturning an empty table behind him. LRK shoves the table aside, smashing it to splinters, and keeps up the chase.
Hiro Suzuki: Hey, how do you keep a bull from charging?
Del Ramos: If you could just… let me have this. Just shut your goddamn food door and let me have this one show... I promise when I kill you I’ll leave you in good enough shape for an open casket.
Hiro Suzuki: You take away his credit cards!
Del Ramos: ...Motherfucker, your ashes are going to be too ugly to be displayed in an opaque urn by the time I’m done.
Rounding the corner by shoving his shoulder into the wall, David careens into the next corridor—only to trip over a loose floorboard in the walkway! It doesn’t take him down, but it’s enough for King to gain on him. Seizing the opportunity as well as David’s waist, he uses his forward momentum to take David into a Sidewalk Slam on top of the railing! O’Toole narrowly avoids the devastation to his spine with some quick thinking, getting one foot planted hard enough on the railing to flip over King’s arm. Now on top of the railing, he makes a leap upward and pulls himself through the broken floorboards of the room above!
Hiro Suzuki: Hey, you know how monkeys get up and down the stairs?
Artemis Direction: How’s that, darling?
Del Ramos: Stop encouraging him.
Hiro Suzuki: They slide up and down the banana-ster!
Snarling, the Lab Rat is in hot pursuit, scaling the railing and the sinking floorboards as his namesake would. Climbing seems to be in his nature. The space is dark, but seems to be some kind of abandoned boiler room; King takes up a huge pipe from the floor with both hands, and he bangs it against the nearest wall, stalking forward toward the crack of violet light coming in through the door.
Lab Rat King: HERE, KITTY KITTY KITTY…
The next room seems to be a dead end, the old door that would have once granted access to the stairs up to the street boarded up thoroughly. David’s eyes dart around the chamber—just as LRK bursts in behind him.
Hiro lets out a scream several octaves higher than it would reasonably be expected him to vocalize at.
Lab Rat King: FOUND YOU.
O’Toole grins with something feral, and keeps light on his feet as King charges him. He dodges, but instead of making space, David finds another angle, and is slightly closer. LRK growls as he lunges again—only for David to slip away again. Round and round they orbit, LRK can’t quite get his hands on O’Toole, but O’Toole can’t quite find an opening to strike or escape—and in sheer defiance of reason O’Toole is spiraling closer and closer to LRK. Finally King snarls, his patience run out just as David finally makes a bit more space and stops, breathing hard but still grinning madly.
Lab Rat King: HOLD STILL, WHIRLIGIG WORM!
He makes a run at O’Toole—who does just the same! With a roar King snatches at David as he’s about to run past, catches him by the back of the shirt, and twisting hurls him headlong towards a wooden post along one wall. O’Toole goes sailing through the air, but he twists and curls to slam his shoulder into the post! There’s a great crack!!, and just as King is about to pounce on O’Toole a great flood of debris comes crashing down on the both of them!
At first the only sound is the patter of loose gravel settling, part of King’s legs poking out of the rubble. Then a pair of hands comes bursting out of the side of the debris—one is holding the pendent!—and shortly thereafter the rest of David O’Toole emerges, dusty and grimy and much worse for wear, but in one piece. He stumbles out, panting, and finds a wall to lean on—but even as he catches his breath he does not dare take his eyes away from the pile.
The bell is distant, but it's clear, and O’Toole folds forward in relief. Though as staff come in to dig out LRK, O’Toole waves away the people trying to lead him back out and joins the others in digging. He finally finds King’s arm–
–which suddenly snatches him by the wrist!
King lifts himself out of the rest of the rubble, breathing hard, and glares at O’Toole as he rises. O’Toole holds his gaze, his face set but not aggressive. After a tense moment LRK begins to chuckle in some sense of twisted mirth--low and raspy and harsh--and lets go, his feral eyes fixed on O'Toole's.
As the view switches back to the commentary table, all three commentators are staring dumbfounded.
Del Ramos: DID YOU FUCKING SEE THAT?!
Artemis Direction: What a match!
Del is grinning madly, finger tips curling into the top of the announcer’s table.
Del Ramos: Everything I coulda hoped for and more. I just want this whole roster to be soaked in viscera!
Artemis Direction: Well, sweetling, we have our last match of the evening coming up and I think it’s safe to say we have some fighters who have every reason to leave it all out there in the ring for us!
Hiro Suzuki: Silvio seems just as motivated to keep his title as Kyle is to take it!
Del Ramos: Leon’s had it rough; he’s got that survivor’s instinct in him. He’s a nice enough guy, but let’s see how nice he is when he feels genuinely threatened.
Artemis sighs.
Artemis Direction: I won’t deny he can get a little… sharp if given a particular motivation.
Hiro Suzuki: Kyle’s motivation isn’t any less compelling. If he’s able to make a name for himself by becoming our second World Champ, he’s going to cement his reputation as being a prodigy in the field! He’s fighting on behalf of his brother, a wrestler whose life was tragically cut short.
Del Ramos: There’s death hanging in a cloud around these two, but instead of making them stop, all its done is make them go harder. That’s fucking metal.
Kevin Kim: Ascended Army this is your main event for the evening for the Ascended Wrestling World Championship! Our contest is set for two out of three falls or submissions, which count anywhere in our Underworld rule match! Are you ready, Ascended Army?!
The crowd roars its approval, Kevin raising the mic to his lips once more.
Kevin Kim: Introducing first, your challenger!
“Stick to Your Guns,” by Sick Puppies hits and Kyle, dressed in his safari-style khakis, stands at the top of the entrance ramp, bent slightly forward and arms crossed. He drops the hood of his jacket and throws his arms out wide, letting out an excited roar to the crowd. He looks around to take in the arena before striding down the ramp.
Kevin Kim: From Queensland, Australia, weighing in at 201lbs, he is the Culture Clash, KYLE BECKETT!
Kyle ascends the ring apron, looking out to the arena again with a sly grin on his face, and climbs to the top of the turnbuckle where he cries out “Aussie, Aussie, Aussie!” the crowd replying with, ‘Oi! Oi! Oi!’ before leaping down to the ring. He paces back and forth, eyes bright, never leaving the entrance, an eager, ravenous lion in the shape of a young man.
Kevin Kim: And his opponent!
Superstition by Kyle Primus rings out and the Ascended World Champion comes out on the stage, face painted like a skull, title around his waist, bathed in black light as the big screen displays a Ouija board surrounded by raw crystals and burning candles, with his name written across it, a planchette moving in an arc over the letters. Catching Kyle’s gaze, he grins, eyes gleaming with anticipation. He high fives with the fans closest to the ramp, but his focus is clear.
Kevin Kim: From Seattle, WA, weighing in at 195lbs, he is your Ascended World Champion, your Mystifying Oracle, SILVIO LEON!
Climbing onto the apron and flipping over the ropes, the Mystifying Oracle hands the belt over to Jill Kincaid, who holds it aloft for the crowd to see. With a confident smile, Silvio walks up to Kyle and offers a friendly hand to which Kyle accepts, though the tension between them is palpable.
Artemis Direction: Here we go, hunties!
After Jill calls for the bell, champion and challenger meet in the center of the ring for a test of strength. After a few moments, the taller Kyle is able to get the advantage and pushes Silvio into the corner! The ref calls for a clean break and Kyle backs off, only to slap the face of the champion!
Del snickers.
Del Ramos: Looks like our Aussie’s testing that ‘nice guy’ cred right out the gate! If Beckett gets Leon angry, it’s gonna shut down his ability to strategize.
Artemis Direction: Not a bad methodology! Hiro, sweetness, I don’t suppose you’ve found any new Australian wildlife on your quest for ordinary fauna, have you?
Hiro makes a face.
Hiro Suzuki: I mean, I think so? But --
Del grins madly.
Del Ramos: Yeah?
Hiro makes a face at them.
Hiro Suzuki: You’re going to tell me some weird fact about it and it’s gonna send me right back to the drawing board!
Silvio launches himself out of the corner and strikes back with a spinning back heel kick, only for Kyle to just barely make it out of harm’s way! Dressed in his Irwin-inspired costume, Beckett grins and affects the late naturalist’s commentary.
Kyle Beckett: Oooh I made ‘im angry!
Silvio is quick though and spins in the opposite direction, connecting with a spinning elbow strike! Kyle staggers to the side but isn’t down as he fires back with an open palm slap right to Silvio’s chest! Silvio returns the favor and the two trade shots until Silvio gets the upper hand and backs Kyle into the corner, connecting with a rope assisted enziguri!
Del Ramos: Oof! Leon’s kicks can be fuckin’ brutal! I bet he’s taking lessons from that new friend on the roster of his with the thighs that could crush a man’s skull. Anyway, c’mon, Suzuki, let’s hear about your newest would-be pet! Don’t you think it’s even more appropriate given Beckett’s get-up?
Hiro glances between Artemis and Del, fidgeting before finally sighing.
Hiro Suzuki: Well, I guess...
Kyle stumbles out of the corner and Silvio is quick to follow. However, showing off his speed and ring sense, Kyle leaps into the air and flips backwards, connecting with a Pele kick! Silvio staggers backwards and leaps into the air, hopping onto Kyle’s shoulders with ease and hitting an inverted hurricanrana! Silvio goes for the cover…
Artemis Direction: We could have our first pin!
ONE!
TW...NO!
Kyle kicks out with authority and Silvio goes right back to work. The champion leans forward, pressing his body weight on top of Kyle’s back before wrapping his arms around Kyle’s neck with a sleeper hold! Kyle struggles but seems to be fading as the ref runs in to check on him. He lifts Kyle’s arm up and lets it fall…
ONE…
But as soon as the arm hits the mat, it bounces back up again and Kyle pumps his fist into the air asking the crowd for their support. The crowd starts to get behind Kyle as he manages to get to a knee, before climbing to his feet, with Silvio still hanging on.
Artemis Direction: Beckett showing tremendous endurance to say nothing of the pain tolerance!
Del Ramos: C’mon, Suzuki, tell us about your freak animal.
Hiro Suzuki: It isn’t a freak animal!
He sighs.
Hiro Suzuki: I mean, I hope it isn’t? Anyway, it’s getting to be the holidays, and I heard about this one bird from Australia called the Mistletoebird. How cute is that? It’s fluffy, small, and brightly colored!
Del is already getting out their phone, but they seem conflicted about whether or not they want to crush Hiro’s spirit or watch the match before them.
Decisions, decisions.
The challenger buries his elbow right into Silvio’s gut not once but twice before Silvio let’s go of the hold. Silvio tries to move in again but is thwarted by Kyle delivering a boot right to Silvio’s midsection, followed up quickly with a DDT! Silvio goes down hard and Kyle rolls out of the ring, grabbing a chair and coming back into the ring with it!
Del seems to forego destroying Hiro’s hopes and dreams for the moment, eyes fiery with joy as the first potential weapon is introduced to the fight.
Del Ramos: That’s it kid! BOIL IN THE BLOODLUST!
Kyle goes to swing the chair at a recovering Silvio only for Silvio to spear Kyle, hard, from a squatting position! Kyle goes down holding his gut and Silvio seizes the opportunity, grabbing the chair and slamming it into Kyle’s stomach before heading up to the top rope! Silvio leaps off and lands perfectly on top of the chair, and Kyle, with his signature The Color Out of Space corkscrew shooting star press! Silvio pushes the chair out of the way and covers Kyle…
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Kyle manages to kick out but it’s too late! The bell rings and Silvio has scored the first pinfall! The two stand, each grabbing their stomachs in pain. Before anything else can happen, Kyle makes a break for the ring apron and slides to the outside where he searches desperately under the ring! Unable to see any reason not to, Silvio does the same thing! It doesn’t take long for Kyle to find what he’s looking for, a cricket bat! Silvio emerges a split second later holding… A baseball bat! The champion scoffs, taking his own turn affecting an impersonation, though this is decidedly less Queensland and a bit more Queens as points with his own makeshift weapon to Beckett’s.
Silvio Leon: Cricket? Nobody understands cricket! You gotta understand what a crumpet is before you can understand cricket!
Smirking, Kyle gestures to Silvio’s own weapon of choice.
Kyle Beckett: An Ichiro bat?! Tell me you didn’t pay money for that!
The two exchange looks before shrugging and going to war with the two bats! Kyle quickly backs Silvio into a corner and takes careful aim before swatting Silvio’s hand with his cricket bat, knocking the baseball bat from Silvio’s hand! The bat clatters to the ground and Kyle winds up and swings for the fences, only for Silvio to duck at the last moment! Kyle overspins and Silvio times everything right, launching himself at Kyle with another spear! Kyle braces himself this time though and rams the end of the bat into the back of Silvio’s neck! Silvio goes down and Kyle quickly shoots the half!
ONE!
TWO!
NO!
Silvio barely manages to kick out at the last moment! Kyle gets to his feet but Silvio quickly grabs him around the waist and brings him back down to the mat locking in a figure four leg lock, Crawling Chaos! Kyle writhes in pain but gets his hand on the cricket bat, quickly swinging and this time connecting with Silvio right across the jaw! Silvio loosens his grip and Kyle reverses the pressure of the figure four causing Silvio to grit his teeth in pain!
Del slams a fist into the top of the commentary table with a howl of approval.
Del Ramos: THERE YOU GO, KID! MAKE HIM SUFFER!
Silvio is forced to release the hold and stands, but not before being rushed at by Kyle, the two landing in the corner of the ring! With no hesitation, Kyle quickly hops up onto the top rope and leaps from it to Silvio’s shoulders, bringing him down with a spinning cyclone rama, a move he calls Culture Shock! Kyle quickly goes for the pin!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Exhausted, the two men get to their feet and stare each other down, earning a newfound respect for each other, but waking up something dangerous between them. As he gets upright, something in Leon’s eyes changes, the language of his body shifting into something fluid with predatory purpose. He isn’t looking at Kyle the way one might an opponent in a fight, dark eyes burning from out of the deep, black pits of his skeletal makeup.
He’s looking at him like a cornered animal confronted with a hungry predator and nothing left to lose. He’s looking at him like he’s a problem to be solved. He’s looking at him with all the ruthless intent of a survivor who has accepted that to live, sometimes you have to let someone else die.
Even if he doesn’t know exactly what that means to a man like Silvio, Beckett seems to intuit a shift in the gears of Leon’s mind, and the lines of his own body shift to prepare himself. He hasn’t come this far to give up now, and he sure as Hell isn’t going to let down the memory of his brother by quailing to his opponent, no matter what feral, pitiless purpose has reared its ugly head. His voice comes low, eyes narrowed.
Kyle Beckett: I ain’t fuckin’ scared a' you.
Smirking slowly, Silvio motions to the outside of the ring, as if to say, ‘prove it.’ Kyle seems to read his mind as the two exit the ring and meet in front of the announce table, ready to finish things once and for all!
While Artemis and Hiro’s eyes widen and they get to their feet to try and avoid the oncoming assault, Del seems downright elated.
Del Ramos: AHAHAHA! FUCKIN’ ROOM SERVICE! I GODDAMN LOVE IT!
The two trade shots, neither one gaining the upper hand until Kyle leaps up and hits an enziguri from nowhere! The Kick That Defines a Generation! Silvio staggers and Kyle quickly follows up with an inverted necklock backbreaker, Break the Cycle! Silvio goes down hard, grabbing his back as Kyle forces him back down and goes for the pin!
ONE!
TWO!
THR--!
NO!
At the last moment, Silvio kicks out and leaps to his feet, still grabbing his back. Kyle only seems annoyed that Silvio kicked out of the move and quickly closes the distance between them. Silvio sees him coming though and runs at the ring, jumping up on the apron and landing on Kyle with a tornado DDT, Starry Wisdom, outside the ring! Silvio considers going for the pin but one can almost see the wheels turning in his head as he hoists Kyle up to his feet and plants him directly on the announce table!
Del finally gets up, stepping back to join their fellow commentators who are all clutching mics and gaping with horror.
Del Ramos: Oh, by the way, Hiro, your bird does a little shit dance and wipes its ass all over sticks to keep a parasitic plant growing it survives off of.
Hiro Suzuki: HOW COULD YOU LET ME DOWN, BIRD?!
Wasting little time, Silvio climbs into the ring and up onto the turnbuckle, still grabbing his back before leaping off with The Color Out of Space again! He lands squarely on Kyle and neither man seems to move in the wreckage of the table! Seeming to act more out of instinct than conscious thought, Silvio manages to roll on top of Kyle as the ref slides in for the count!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Kevin Kim: Your winner and STILL Ascended World Champion, your ‘Mystifying Oracle,’ SILVIO LEON!
The crowd is on its feet as it cheers for gladiators, alternating chants of, ‘O-RA-CLE!’ and ‘CUL-TURE CLASH!’ ringing in the Underground arena. Slowly, painfully, the pair of combatants climb to their feet, each battered but breathing. As soon as they’re both upright, Silvio and Kyle’s gazes meet, and after a long moment, the champ holds out a hand for Kyle, the younger man hesitating before taking it.
Artemis Direction: And there you have it, Ascended Army! Our Special Edition Collision has come to a thrilling end! I doubt this is the last we’re going to see of our events taking place here in the Underground. Who is going to make use of this space next and to what bloody end? Join us to find out on Collision!
Credits
Amelia vs. SKUP9 - Kyle Beckett
Roy Valentine vs. Mara Lang - Zen
Happy Endings - Amelia ‘Wildheart’ Winston and Kyle Beckett
Beyond the Belle - Zephyr and Ampersand
Osseous Irwin - Kyle Beckett and Ampersand
LRK vs. David O’Toole - Zen and g
Kyle vs. Silvio - Zephyr
Everything else - Ampersand
A huge thanks to Zen for doing the formatting after the heckin' circuit breaker decided to flip out.
Load up on guns, bring your friends
It's fun to lose and to pretend
She's over-bored and self-assured
Oh no, I know a dirty word
The viewer comes to a circular chamber illuminated by a single, sputtering light bulb swinging from a cord above an indistinct human figure. As the bulb flickers on and off, the figure resolves, shifting in the shadows to illuminate the features of different Ascended Gladiators. Amelia ‘Wildheart’ Winston flickers to life first, dressed in a sultry Red Riding Hood costume, a long-handled axe resting over one shoulder. The light flickers again, the shadows shifting this time to reveal SKUP9 standing with a pair of hockey sticks held in his hands. The camera flickers out and when it comes on again, Roy Valentine is seen in the thin light provided by the amethyst-colored prismatic glass above him, ferns and lichen clinging to the earthen walls and ceiling; a pale phantom haunting the halls beneath the earth. His fingers flex against thin, thorny vines wound around his hand. Shifting again, the viewer is shown Mara Lang standing in the middle of a glittering carpet. As the picture pulls out, however, all that glitters proves to be broken glass.
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello
With the lights out, it’s less dangerous
Here we are now
Entertain us
At last, the camera turns, angling up to a rickety set of stairs at the top of which a figure stands silhouetted due to the backlighting. As the figure steps down and the light adjusts, the viewer finds themselves looking up at Silvio Leon tapping a bat rhythmically in one hand, a grin curling his lips. The view then swings around behind him to look at the person at the bottom of the staircase. Kyle Beckett waits, a mad glint in his eye, teeth gleaming in a fierce grin of his own, fingers tightening around the handle of a cricket bat.
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now
Entertain us!
The Underground arena, while smaller than the Colosseum, is still impressive in size. There are a few dozen fans present in person, and others watching from home seen on screens set high up near the ceiling, looking down at the ring below. At the announcing table sit Artemis Direction, dressed as a glamorous version of the Bride of Frankenstein, Hiro Suzuki as a vampire in pale face powder, a dark cowl and white fangs, and Del Ramos in a werewolf costume with painstakingly applied fur and prosthetics.
Del Ramos: Happy Halloween, or as I like to think of it, the most wonderful time of the year. And goddamn I must have pleased my dark under lords with my sacrifices and suffering after all, because we have been gifted with this - an all Underworld Rules match special edition of Collision. Suzuki?
Hiro Suzuki: Yeth?
Del Ramos: I don’t take back the shit I said about your stand-up routines - all that’s still fucking true. But I thank you for subjecting me to their horror so that I could dedicate that suffering to the infernal forces that animate me and my desire for blood.
Hiro Suzuki: Oh, uh thankth, Del! That’th thweet of you!
Artemis Direction: Hiro, darling, is there something wrong with your mouth?
Hiro Suzuki: It’th these-- hold on!
Hiro pries the fangs out of his mouth with a little, ‘p’tooey!’.
Hiro Suzuki: Ugh! There! It’s these vampire fangs. They’re supposed to stick perfectly to your teeth, but they're really uncomfortable. I think the problem is I let the mold sit for too long.
Artemis Direction: Oh?
Hiro Suzuki: Yeah, I was supposed to take them out at one o’clock, but I guess I left them in ‘til, tooth-hurty instead!
Del spreads their hands and directs their gaze to the floor.
Del Ramos: I know you’ve gifted me so much already, my infernal masters, but if you could have a sewer crocodile or something come chomp his head off before this night is over, I would never ask for another thing in this or any of my subsequent lives.
Artemis Direction: We have quite the lineup in tonight’s unique venue!
Hiro Suzuki: That’s right! We’re coming at you from the Seattle Underground, Ascended Army! Marcus Afsah is not just ludicrously wealthy, he is not just obscenely wealthy, he is evidently sacreligiously wealthy, because I can’t think of any other way he could afford to pull this off.
Del Ramos: Fuck that’s gonna be peanuts compared to the hospital bills all these poor schmucks are going to have to contend with. Amelia and SKUP9 in a regular fight would be some kind of major brutality in and of itself. Add Underworld rules to the mix? I’m fucking here for it.
Artemis Direction: SKUP9 certainly is turning heads. He’s been tearing through nearly everyone set in front of him. It’s not going to be long before he finds himself with some golden opportunities, I imagine.
Hiro fidgets in his seat, toying with the little fangs uncomfortably.
Hiro Suzuki: I’m not looking forward to the match after that. It just… seems like it’s got the opportunity to get really nasty.
Del chuckles, smirking.
Del Ramos: Oh, I know.
They practically purr the last word.
Del Ramos: Valentine’s got a mean streak about a mile wide and Lang showed a little more passion in that last promo. I think we might see a different Dr. Lang this time around.
Artemis Direction: The match after that one? Well, darlings if you want to talk about a monster mash!
Hiro Suzuki: Quinn versus Perdurabo…
The comedian pales even beneath his makeup.
Hiro Suzuki: Are we absolutely certain about the structural integrity of the Underground here? It’s not… gonna… you know, collapse under too much strain or anything, right?
Del Ramos: If there was any justice in this world, only on top of your head.
Artemis Direction: Well if the brutality of that match doesn’t, the sheer aesthetic delight of the next one might! The elegant Eleni Tolis and the ‘Adorable’ Adam Prince who does live up to that moniker of his!
Hiro Suzuki: They better watch out for any acute injuries! Neither of them seem the type with much experience in hardcore matches.
Del Ramos: You’d be surprised what this kind of fight can bring out in people. In my experience, the nice ones? The quiet ones? They’re the ones who snap the fucking hardest. Those fuckers aren’t lazy or weak - they’re saving their goddamn strength and ferocity for when they need it. Don’t be surprised if we see a whole new side to the supermodel or the super softie. I’m sure they got sharp edges where it counts.
Artemis Direction: The next match is...good heavens it's going to be something else, sweetlings.
Del is grinning, the yellow contacts in their eyes only emphasizing their bloodthirsty joy.
Del Ramos: It's gonna be a damn horror movie come to life. It's Michael Myers and Laurie Strode, straight up. You think the Rat's finally just gonna cannibalize someone in the ring in front of the Ascended Army, the rest of the roster and God?
Hiro starts to laugh as if Del's just made a joke, but his mirth dwindles as it dawns on him that Del is expressing a genuine… well, they admittedly don't sound concerned so much as hopeful.
Artemis Direction: Following that, we will have our very first World Title defense with Kyle Beckett challenging Silvio Leon! Kyle’s had quite a run since he debuted at Ascended.
Hiro Suzuki: He’s certainly earned this spot. After tonight, no matter who walks out with the title, everyone’s going to be looking to see who the next challenger is going to be.
Del Ramos: As long as they beat each other to a pulp, I don’t care who it is. I just wanna see the blood bath!
Artemis Direction: You’re about to get your wish, my gore-loving siren! But before we dive into the gore, we have a message from Ascended Wrestling’s owner and president!
The Lonely Island’s I’m So Humble rolls through the arena, the opening distorted vocals resonating down the old corridors of the Underground. Rather than making an appearance in person, however, every screen in the arena transitions from the CEO’s glittering gold signature and red wax seal to a view of a massive gas fireplace--more of a fire wall-- in front of which stands one Marcus Afsah. He grins, removing a pair of Ray Bans to reveal red contacts, a perfect match to the short devil horns growing from his forehead. Otherwise he wears a crisp black suit and is carrying a stemless glass of red wine--the picture of Lucifer.
Marcus Afsah: Happy Halloween, fans and freaks. Welcome to the Underground. Pretty cool, huh.
He follows that with a wicked grin.
Marcus Afsah: Don’t say I never do anything for you guys. To our Army here in the arena and to all our ghosts watching from home--you’re getting a trick and a treat. Hopefully it’ll be a very bloody treat, courtesy of the Underworld rules in play tonight. They say the underground is haunted as fuck or whatever, too, so… something to think about.
He winks, raising his glass in a toast.
Marcus Afsah: Enjoy the show.
Kevin Kim: The following match is scheduled for one fall, with no time limit. Introducing first, from Belleville, Ontario, Canada and weighing in at 157lbs. Amelia ‘Wildheart’ Winston!
The lights dim, strobing along with the beat of the song, Amelia standing at the top of the entrance ramp, bouncing a little on the balls of her feet. The first verse hits and the lights come up brighter, still strobing a bit with the tune as she makes her way down to the ring, a bit of strut in her march. She sprints the last few yards, diving in under the bottom rope and rolling to her feet, climbing onto the ropes to cut a pose for the hard camera as the lights come back to full normal before jumping down from the ropes, ready for her bout.
Artemis Direction: With this being Wildheart’s last outing at Ascended, we’re going to see if she can slay one last giant on her way out.
Del Ramos: SKUP9 is proving again and again that he lives up to his name. That loss to Quinn seems to have shaken him up enough to put everything he’s got into his matches.
The lights in the arena go down, leaving the arena completely dark.
“Escobar’s season has returned.”
The violin intro to “Hate Me Now” by Nas ft. Puff Daddy starts to fill the arena
“It's been a long time, been a long time comin'
It's life or death for me now
But you know, there's no turning back now
This is what makes me, this is what I am
Feel me, let's go’”
Kevin Kim: On his way to the ring, weighing in at 369 lbs… from Grand Junction, Colorado… he is “The Eliminator” SKUP9!!!!!!
SKUP9 stalks his way down the ramp, stopping occasionally to give an intimidating stare to the crowd. He steps up from the ringside area onto the apron, then up and over the top rope and into the ring, He walks over to the corner, where he stretches while waiting for the match to start.
Referee Godric Smith quickly conducts a preliminary check of both competitors, Amelia giving him a brief playful wink, before the bell rings and the match is truly under way. The Eliminator looks to not waste any time and lunges forward. The Wildheart ducks beneath his waiting and eager grasp, to swing around behind the larger opponent. SKUP9 anticipated such a tactic - he dealt with enough smaller and quicker opponents to know how they operated. A stiff elbow strike catches Amelia by surprise, landing on the back where the neck and shoulders meet! The Eliminator tosses her back to her starting position with an impressive biel throw.
Hiro Suzuki: Check out the air time on that throw! At least Amelia can save up on frequent flyer miles!
Del Ramos: Winston’s gonna have to pull out all the stops if she's going to chop that tree down. She better not give him a second.
Artemis Direction: Having a look in the ring, it’s clear she knows that, darling!
Undaunted, Amelia is quickly back to her feet, connecting with a rapid dropkick right to the chest. It’s enough to knock SKUP9 back a few steps, creating some distance. The Wildheart capitalised by coming off of the ring ropes into a tilt-a-whirl, spinning through into a DDT that drives SKUP9’s head down into the mat. With a hook of the leg, Amelia makes the cover.
1…
2…
The Eliminator kicks out!
Hiro Suzuki: Hey, what did the teenage tornado say to his parents?
Del Ramos: Suzuki, I think you’re taking for granted I haven’t thought about how easy it would be to hide your body here, already under the earth, where no one would ever fucking find it.
Hiro Suzuki: Nothing! He just stormed out!
Artemis Direction: Oh, my stars and garters that reminds me - I have to deal with a house filled with teenagers and early twenty-somethings the day after Halloween. And they’re all drag artists.
Del Ramos: Does that make it worse?
Artemis Direction: Aside from the post sugar-crash and the inevitable costume contest fall-out drama? Darling, I don’t even want to think about the state of the bathrooms on November 1st. Oh, they had better pray their mother not find a disaster.
Del Ramos: Brutal.
Before the Eliminator can recover too much, Amelia is on him again, locking in a cravat lock and hitting with a series of stiff knees. Fighting through the furious flurry, SKUP9 lifts his opponent up for a ring-shaking backdrop. He opts against a cover attempt and waits. The moment Wildheart begins to stir, the Eliminator strikes. He sends the Ontario native end-over-end with a brutal discus lariat.
This time SKUP9 makes a cover.
1…
2…
Amelia rolls her shoulder!
Artemis Direction: Admirable grit from Winston!
Del Ramos: If she doesn’t get back on the attack soon, though, all the grit in the world ain’t gonna save her.
In a truly despicable act, the Eliminator places one foot down on Amelia’s throat. The Wildheart writhes as she struggles for air. Referee Godric Smith reaches the count of 4 before the Eliminator steps off his fallen opponent. He seems unperturbed by the referee’s admonishment. In the blink of an eye Amelia leaps up. So sudden and brazen is the move that SKUP9 is unable to muster a defence as the WIldheart connects with a hurricanrana that sends the Eliminator head first into a nearby corner post! Not one to let up, Amelia is there again and nails the Marie Antoinette Special. The Wildheart applies the Chokepoint!
Artemis Direction: Such confidence! Not only is Amelia Winston looking to beat the big man, but she wants to do it by making him tap out! Little Wildheart has quite a set of cojones on her!
Del scoffs.
Del Ramos: Balls. Please. Who wants to be compared with those weak, sensitive little things? You wanna be tough, you gotta be a pussy. Those things can take a pounding.
The submission is expertly locked in, giving SKUP9 a taste of his own medicine by cutting off the airway! The big man grimaces, jaw clenched tightly shut as he pushes through, forcing himself to stay conscious. He curls a fist and clocks Amelia in the face, loosening her grip. Just the opportunity the Eliminator was after. He struggles and battles to his feet, Amelia still draped around his neck. He hoists her up and looks to throw her bodily into the corner with a buckle bomb. The Wildheart knows when to cut free and slips behind SKUP9. Ripcord Jumping Knee! The Eliminator staggers. Amelia comes off the ropes for a fameasser to finish the Moneymaker but is caught by surprise as SKUP9 lifts her up high into the air in a military press. He drops her. As Amelia comes down SKUP9 brings his knee up.
Hiro Suzuki: Expulsion!
Artemis Direction: This could be it!
The Wildheart is left dazed and confused, helpless as SKUP9 seals the deal with the Abolition. He makes the pin with a lateral press.
1…
2…
3…
DING DING DING!
The crowd roars as SKUP9’s hand is raised in victory.
Artemis Direction: Well, I think it’s safe to say that the Eliminator has become undeniable! If management didn’t have him in mind for gold before…
As SKUP9 exits the ring, Godric Smith takes Amelia’s hand and raises it, pointing to the wrestler. The crowd gives an appreciative pop; a send-off for Wildheart.
Artemis Direction: What a way to start off our show! And we’re about to continue it with some serious style and panache, sweethearts.
Del smirks.
Del Ramos: To say nothing of a little cruelty and sadism.
Hiro Suzuki: Say, did you hear about the sadomasochist who was swindling people out of their life savings?
Artemis Direction: I have not, but color me intrigued, dear heart! Who doesn’t like a sexy caper?
Hiro Suzuki: He was a Con Dom!
Del Ramos: The hatred I feel now having heard you say something even related to sex…
Kevin Kim: Introducing first--
Heavy operatic guitar resonates through the Underground’s halls. Roy’s entrance video plays in all its floral glory; Valentine then makes his entrance in the flesh, struts on stage under a shower of crimson petals. Alongside him stalks his steel wall of an assistant, Anastasia Keller, metal clipboard in hand. Valentine holds a scarlet “Valentine Velvet” rose at his heart, which he tosses into the crowd on his way to the ring, all the while blowing kisses to the aggressively jeering members of the Army.
Artemis sighs, shaking her head.
Artemis Direction: I really am conflicted over Mr. Valentine. On the one hand - such extravagance! Such pageantry! Such delightful excess! But on the other...
Del Ramos: The weird, abusive contract he has that kid under?
Artemis Direction: Precisely, darling! I mean, really, it just makes it that juicier for me, personally, but I very much am that bitch.
Kevin Kim: From Cape Elizabeth, Maine and weighing in at 219 pounds, the reigning Emerald City Champion, Roy Valentine! And his opponent--
As the sharp whistling sound of Mara’s entrance music cuts through the air, the crowd begins jeering again, though with a different quality about it--something more acidic. There is something unwholesome about the way she strides to the ring, not a motion wasted. The only thing that would suggest any distraction from her destination is the motion of her eyes; casting back and forth among the assembled as if assessing them.
Kevin Kim: From Bellevue, Washington and weighing 185 pounds, Mara Lang!
Hiro Suzuki: This is the first time Mara is going to be fighting since losing Sebastian Hawke as her… experimental subject.
Del laughs lowly.
Del Ramos: You know she’s got a lot of anger to take out. Lang’s one of those, ‘everyone and everything in their place,’ types. The rabble starts getting ideas, the wrathful upper crust are going to start showing them exactly what they think about noblesse oblige.
DING DING!
For a tense moment, the pair seem to be sizing each other up, daring the other to make the first move. In the end, it’s Lang who moves first, dashing forward--Roy meets her near the middle though, ducking under her short-arm lariat with a swan’s grace and just as much vitriol in his intent. Using his momentum to bounce off the ropes and rush back, he catches Lang just as she turns around with his signature Whipvine! Lang hits the canvas, brought down by the immediate full-steam angle of her opponent. It’s clear he doesn’t want her to have time to think.
Del Ramos: Valentine looking to end this early, I think.
Roy leaps for a cover!
ONE!
TW-- NO!
Artemis Direction: I’m sure if he can avoid having to deal with the less savory aspects of an Underworld rules match, Valentine will do his utmost.
Del Ramos: C’mon, you fucking posey, don’t be shy! RIP EACH OTHER’S SPLEENS OUT THROUGH YOUR BELLY BUTTONS!
Instinct kicks in, and Lang slips under the ropes as Valentine tries to grab her. A bit unsteady, she turns to look at him, daring him to follow with a smirk, and takes off into one of the Underground’s many corridors. Valentine’s face creases with fury and he vaults over the top rope, landing in a run as he takes off after her. In the commotion, the sound of something shattering is drowned out.
Del Ramos: THAT’S IT! HERE WE FUCKIN’ GO! INTO THE HEART OF DARKNESS, YOU PREENING ASS CLOWNS!
In the next chamber--what looks like what used to be a bar or a pub of some kind-- Mara is waiting beside the door frame. As Roy rushes into the room, she steps out behind him, going for a grab! Valentine manages to get an arm out, grasping something--which ends up being a splintered, broken broomstick leaning against the wall--and drives it viciously into the top of Mara’s foot!
Hiro and Artemis cry out in sympathy while Del cheers the viciousness on.
Hiro Suzuki: I’ve heard thorns being stuck in paws before, but this is on a totally different level!
Artemis Direction: She’s going to need one helluva pedi to get that back in order, sweetheart!
Lang buckles in reflex, stumbling. Sensing an opportunity, Valentine reels the splintered wooden weapon back, grinning with the anticipation of the weapon meeting the side of his opponent’s head--
--when he’s met with a swift and sudden superkick, courtesy of Lang’s injured foot!
Del roars their approval.
Del Ramos: FUCKING BRUTAL!
Hiro Suzuki: Downright toeriffic!
Del Ramos: DO NOT MAKE ME RIP OUT YOUR TRACHEA WITH CROCHET NEEDLES AND MAKE A GODDAMN VOTIVE OUT OF IT!
Hiro Suzuki: ...You crochet, too!?
Del Ramos: I’LL MAKE A FUCKING MACRAME PLANT HANGER OUT OF YOUR INTESTINES IF YOU DON’T SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Hiro Suzuki: Who are you?!
Valentine is knocked to the ground, and immediately arches up in pain, hissing through his teeth. That shattering sound earlier was an old, dusty glass, which now lays in shards beneath Valentine’s spine! Lang doesn’t waste any time, going to roll Valentine over to trap him in a Sharpshooter. Roy kicks at her injured lower leg in an attempt to throw her off balance, which seems to be working until Lang lets her downward momentum drop her weight onto her opponent. There’s a brief struggle, both fighters with glittering fractals of glass embedded in their skin and beading red--and then Lang manages to get her hand up to Roy’s face, pinning him down in her Novocaine!
Artemis cringes, hands fluttering to her collarbone.
Artemis Direction: Shoving your fingers into someone’s mouth like that is simply revolting!
Hiro Suzuki: They’re rolling around in broken glass and that’s what has you wincing!?
Artemis Direction: I am a drag artist. It is not a matter of asking whether or not I have hot-glued rhinestones directly onto my ass but rather, how many times I have done so! Broken glass? Sweetheart, don’t make mother laugh; I’ll crease my foundation.
Between the pain (and disgust) of Mara’s nerve-stinging move and the glass stinging at his back. Roy’s had enough. Nothing is worth this--live to fight in one piece another day. Grimacing in pain and rage, he taps!
DING DING DING!
Kevin Kim: The winner of this match by submission--Mara Lang!
When Roy is able to wrest himself to his feet, blood seeping from his back, the look he gives Lang is downright venomous. She’d pay for this… indignity.
Del lets out a darkly mirthful laugh.
Del Ramos: That’s what I wanna see! Valentine’s always fun to watch when he’s good and pissed. He’s just so fucking mean when he’s got vengeance on his mind.
Hiro Suzuki: Roy’s not the kind of guy to wait around for a rematch, either. He’s awfully impatiens.
Artemis Direction: Just a moment, darlings, I’m getting some chatter from the back…
Belle Silva walks through the Underground, camera bobbing slightly as it follows her before she suddenly freezes. Faintly, echoing off the walls of the underground area, we hear flesh striking flesh, grunts of exertion.
Belle Silva: Does that sound like a brawl to you?! C’mon, this way!
Belle takes off at a quick jog, camera following. A moment later they round a corner just in time to see 'Culture Clash' Kyle Beckett stepping out of a doorway, looking perhaps a little flustered but grinning, giving a nod to the interviewer and cameraman as he walks past them.
A moment later the door opens again, 'Wildheart' Amelia Winston staggering out on slightly shaky legs, adjusting her Red Riding Hood outfit, hair a mess, a big smile on her face. She freezes when she spots the camera, blinking for a second before shrugging.
Amelia Winston: No comment.
With that she walks past them, the camera turning to follow her as she continues to fix her hair and dress as best she can as we fade out.
Del nods sagely.
Del Ramos: Ah, yes. A special time in a wrestler’s life when they get to indulge in being battle horny.
Artemis Direction: Do go on, darling!
Del Ramos: You get yourself that close to death, it makes your body scream for life that much louder. Winston just survived a clash with a giant and Beckett’s got one of the biggest fights of his career thus far going down tonight. Prime time for battle horniness.
Artemis Direction: How illuminating! And now we return to Ms. Silva as she hosts another edition of Beyond the Belle!
“Gave You Everything” by The Interrupters rings out and the fans pop as the forever buoyant Belle Silva bounds out on stage. She smiles and waves at the crowd before heading down the ramp and getting into the ring. Grabbing a mic from the seat set up for her she smiles before yelling.
Belle Silva: ASCENDED ARMY!!! HOW WE DOIN’ TONIGHT?!
The fans of course pop and Belle waits for them to simmer to a dull roar before continuing.
Belle Silva: At Collision 7 we got Beyond the Belle started off right with a guest appearance by Sebastian Hawke, otherwise known as The Insensate! This show I have something special in store for you. Sebastian’s opponent from Ascension, the reigning World Champion, and an all-around great person to be around… A man who needs no introduction but deserves one nonetheless… Silvio Leon!
The opening guitar solo from Kyle Primus’ cover of Superstition goes echoing around the subterranean arena, the lights flickering to life around the top of the entrance ramp as Silvio Leon strides out with a grin, fist bumping, giving finger guns, and pausing for a few selfies as he makes his way into the ring. Sliding in, he gets to his feet, smiling as he gives Belle a high five. The crowd settles as the two take their seats.
Belle Silva: Wow! What a reception as always. Ladies and gents let’s hear it one more time for our World Champion!
The Ascended Army pop once more and Belle lets them settle before continuing.
Belle Silva: Silvio, thanks for being here! To get things started, how has your transition to Ascended Wrestling been?
Silvio Leon: So far so good. I get to come back to my hometown, I’m representing the company, I get to fight new opponents and make new stories with people. What’s not to love?
Belle smiles.
Belle Silva: Well that answers my next question! How is it to be the Ascended’s World Champion and at the same time represent your hometown?
Silvio Leon: It’s… humbling, honestly. I’m grateful I get to be back home. I missed this place a lot. And I’m happy that I get to share the place I love with so many of the people who have come to be important to me over my career so far. Being a champion isn’t just about the belt, either. Like I said - it’s not about glorifying yourself. It’s about representing the roster, bringing prestige to the title, and helping others get to where they want to be. It’s about responsibility and leadership. I just want to be the best version of myself, the best competitor I can be, while the spotlight’s on me.
The fans once again pops for Silvio and Belle joins them.
Belle Silva: Now that we’ve talked about one half of the coin, let’s talk about the other half. In your title match at Ascension we saw you take on someone you know outside of the ring, Sebastian Hawke. Is that the biggest challenge you’ve faced since starting with Ascended? What other challenges do you expect to encounter during your time as champion?
Silvio looks wistful for a moment before answering.
Silvio Leon: I’d hesitate to call any one match my most challenging. Every match has its own challenges that are unique to your situation and opponent. The fight with Seb was definitely my most personal, though. I’m hoping that Seb is able to move forward and be the kind of wrestler and champion I know he is. I want to be there with him every step of the way. On that note, I want to thank Adam and Sherah Prince and Bo Fletcher for the help they offered him.
He grins.
Silvio Leon: And you wanna talk about challenges? I mean, jeez, either one of the Prince cousins would be a hell of an opponent to find myself across the ring from. It’s going to happen sooner or later, and I want to make sure I’m equal to the challenge when it comes. SKUP9 is another person I’ve got my eye on. That guy has been on a tear lately, and if your sphincter doesn’t clench just a little at the thought of fighting that guy, I advise you take some time to look over his matches. Frater Perdurabo’s intimidating as all get out, and just because he lost a few matches, that doesn’t mean he isn’t absolutely capable when it comes to ass-kicking. Eleni Tolis has shown us some techniques that, uh… can definitely make a fella - and statistically speaking some of the ladies and enby babes - think about something other than the match at hand. Chiba Suzumiya’s a woman on a mission; she’s out to change the face of wrestling and bring people along for the ride. Getting in the path of a believer is a bad idea. The Pit? That guy exudes pure Tartarus energy. You get into that ring with him and you’d better expect a merry stroll through the Ninth Circle.
I’ve been in the ring with Valentine, but not since he’s become champ. Gold changes a person, and I’m seeing him flaunt a bit more of that viciousness lately that makes him a dangerous person in a fight. Davie and I have faced off before, but he’s the kind of guy that learns from every match; adapts. I doubt he’ll be the same wrestler I fought last time. I’ve had my eye on Jimmy Allen. He’s got an admirable pedigree, but that isn’t as important to me as what I’ve seen from him in the ring. Lang is someone who just doesn’t care about the pain she endures; invites it. What do you do with an opponent like that? Zephyr and Kane are my friends, but I imagine we’re going to have to get into it at some point. Fighting an opponent is one thing. It’s another entirely when they're good friends.
He spreads his hands.
Silvio Leon: I’ve said everyone on the roster is deserving of gold, and I meant it. Whoever I step into the ring with is going to test me, and vice versa.
Belle leans forward with interest painted across her face.
Belle Silva: Can you give us any insight into what kind of tests you’re planning for any of the mentioned names?
Silvio hums thoughtfully, raising a brow.
Silvio Leon: I don’t know that I have anything planned in particular as far as tests go. Everyone has something different to offer in the ring. I’d say they’re just as likely to be testing me. As I’ve said before, every match is a lesson and every fighter is a teacher. I want to learn what they have to teach me.
Belle sits back satisfied with the answer.
Belle Silva: If there was one thing you could say or do, to make your title reign, the first in Ascended’s history, the most memorable, what would it be?
Silvio grins, dark eyes glimmering like embers.
Silvio Leon: Make it to three defenses.
Belle laughs.
Belle Silva: In your estimation, who will be the next person to challenge you for your title? I know you dropped a few names earlier but as Highlander said, 'there can be only one.'"
Silvio Leon: Well, I gotta keep the thing first, though I appreciate the vote of confidence, Ms. Silva! You have excellent taste. But to your question - considering his record and what I’ve seen from him recently? The Eliminator’s looking like he deserves a shot. We have a PPV coming up, so a challenge for the World title involving SKUP might be just what the doctor ordered. If I do make three defenses, though, I’m planning on vacating the title. And after that? Well, a company-wide tournament for the next champ sounds pretty damn exciting, if you ask me.
Belle nods in agreement.
Belle Silva: And then some! Silvio, thank you so much for joining me tonight! Is there anything you'd like to leave the Ascended Army and everyone in the back with? Any departing words?
Silvio Leon: I want to thank everyone for what they’ve done to bring me this far. The fans for believing in me, and everyone I’ve fought and what those matches have helped me learn. I’m not going to let you down. I’m going to show everyone exactly why this is the best promotion in the business.
The crowd once again pops and Belle stands to give Silvio a hug before raising his hand.
Belle Silva: Ladies and gentlemen YOUR ASCENDED WORLD CHAMPION, SILVIO LEON!
The crowd pops as the cameras fade.
Hiro Suzuki: Leon does bring up a good point - he might not be the person to walk out of this show with the belt. If Beckett does win, that means his first challenger may very well be the man who beat him before he won his belt.
Artemis grins, giving a little wiggle of delight.
Artemis Direction: How positively delicious with drama. Speaking of, how about our next battle?
Del Ramos: Two monsters worthy of the Underworld. This whole show was made to showcase fuckers like them. We’re gonna be wading through the blood!
Kevin Kim: The following bout is set for one fall! Introducing first!
The unrelenting introduction of "The Heaviest Matter of the Universe" is accompanied by strobes flashing in time with the drums as Frater Perdurabo emerges onto the stage. He wastes no time heading down the ramp and stops once he reaches ringside.
Kevin Kim: Hailing from Cefalù, Sicily weighing in at 336 pounds, he is, ‘Necesse Malum,’ FRATER PERDURABO!
Frater reaches up, takes hold of the ropes, hauls his frame up onto the apron, then climbs over the top rope. Once in the ring, Frater heads to the opposite end and paces back and forth between the corners as the building's lighting returns to normal.
Del Ramos: Think Kev’s lookin’ a little nervous sharing the ring with Perdurabo again?
Artemis Direction: Del, he’s going to hear that you called him ‘Kev.’
A look of horror dawns on Ramos’ face.
Del Ramos: Oh, fuck he’s gonna be like a fuckin’ puppy - shit! Can we delete that part of the broadcast?!
Kevin Kim: And his opponent!
"Send Me An Angel" rings out as the fans in attendance pop. Zephyr Quinn comes out to the stage, on her own. A look of pure confidence crosses over Zephyr's face as she strolls to the ring.
Artemis Direction: Lest anyone think this is a mis-matched fight, Zephyr Quinn nearly hanged a man in our first PPV!
Del sighs with wistful delight.
Del Ramos: What a fuckin’ night that was.
Zephyr hops up lightly onto the apron, posing in the center of the ring as the music fades. Slowly, she turns to stare down Frater with icy eyes.
Del Ramos: Looks like we might see something just as memorable here tonight.
DING DING!
The pair begin to circle one another, movements characterized by the focused fluidity typically reserved for some predatory animal stalking its prey. Zephyr moves first, fast and sharp as a javelin with boxing-style jabs. Frater moves with surprising speed for someone his size, and as Zephyr tries to duck into his reach, he hits her with a rising clothesline that sends her to the mat! She takes advantage of the angle, however, her long legs curling back before slamming heels-first into Frater’s knee! Grunting, he takes a knee and eats a headbutt from Zephyr as she climbs to her feet! Frater reels, but manages to stay upright, Zephyr catching hold of his head and cocking back a fist to rain punishment down upon him, the crowd counting along!
One!
Two!
Three!
Fou--
Just as it’s about to strike home another time, however, Perdurabo’s hand moves with unnerving speed, Quinn’s fist thudding into his palm. He begins to squeeze, and Quinn cries out in pain!
Del Ramos: Doesn’t matter if it’s balled into a fist - there’s all kinds of nerves in the hands. An injury there hurts like a bitch.
Frater gets to his feet, smirking as Zephyr grimaces. He turns hard, whipping Quinn into the ropes and hitting her with a low-angle shoulder block as she comes hurdling back at him! She hits the mat but continues to roll under the bottom rope and off the edge to the floor below. Perdurabo stalks toward the side of the ring, intent on his opponent, steps growing quicker as he spies her getting to her feet, still hunched over. Frater goes for a suicide dive, only for Zephyr to straighten up at the last minute, revealing a brick clutched in her hands that Perdurabo goes flying into head first! The pair both hit the floor hard, Zephyr grunting as she’s momentarily crushed by her opponent, who is already bleeding liberally from a cut to the head! Quinn gasps, trying to gather herself and regain the wind that was knocked out of her. Managing to find enough strength and breath, she turns him over and goes for a pin, Jill Kincaid right at their sides!
One!
Two!
Kick out from Perdurabo!
Artemis Direction: Gutsy move from Quinn!
Hiro Suzuki: Hey, how do you throw an egg against a brick wall without breaking it?
Artemis Direction: I don’t know, darling, how?
Hiro Suzuki: Pff, don’t be silly there’s no way an egg would break a brick wall!
Del Ramos: We could give it the old college try with your melon, Suzuki.
Face steadily becoming a mask of crimson, Frater’s smile is that much brighter white in comparison; a ghastly, knife-like thing. Quinn’s eyes only narrow, jaw set at a determined angle. Reaching beneath the ring, Perdurabo draws out two bundles of fluorescent light tubes taped together, beckoning for Quinn to approach. She smirks, heaving aside her brick and catching the bundle that Perdurabo tosses at her. As soon as it’s in her hand, though, he’s on the attack, bellowing and swinging down with the lights hard into her side, shattering them in a shower of pale, white glass. Zephyr yelps, trying to bend away and using her momentum to swing upward, shattering her own weapon against Frater’s back! Pushing through the pain, he gets upright first, grabbing onto Zephyr’s throat and lifting her up to deliver a brutal Culling of the Weak directly onto the broken glass shards! Quinn howls with pain even as Perdurabo goes for the pin!
One!
Two!
Th--
Quinn kicks out!
Del is laughing maniacally.
Del Ramos: WHAT DID I TELL YOU?! WADING IN THE BLOOD! AHAHAHAHA!
Indeed, both opponents are cut in multiple places, blood plastered to their skin and smeared across the ground upon which they’ve been fighting. Frater, breath ragged, eyes wild, is gathering himself as Zephyr finds a hidden well of energy still within her. She drags a steel folding chair out from under the ring and hurls them onto the canvas. She has something else in her hands, though it’s difficult to see. Crawling back into the ring and pulling herself upright using the turnbuckles, she pops the chair open and sets it up in the center of the ring. She watches as Perdurabo rises from the carpet of shattered glass, and the other object she brought into the ring with her is revealed to be barbed wire, which she has just finished winding around her fist! As Frater surges back into the ring, Zephyr charges forward, using the chair as a launching point to get that much more height on the barbed-wire enforced Swift Determination she nails the big man with! They both go down, Zephyr snarling in agony at the barbed wire points now embedded in her knuckles even as she goes for the pin!
One!
Two!
Th--
NO! Perdurabo barely gets a shoulder up!
Hiro Suzuki: We… um… should we maybe stop this? I get that it’s Underworld rules and all, but… isn’t Marcus gonna be pissed if they bleed to death?
Del Ramos: FUCK HIM HE KNEW WHAT HE WAS GETTING INTO WHEN HE SET THIS UP! Besides, he’s so fuckin’ rich I’m sure he could afford to fuckin’ T-Virus them back to life to fight again or something. I mean, damn, that’d actually be pretty sweet…
For a few moments both fighters just lay on the canvas, surely dizzy from pain and blood loss. Setting his teeth, Frater is the first to get up, grabbing the arm of a wavering Zephyr Quinn and hauling her upright. He grips her arm, seeming ready to whip her back into the ropes, but Quinn finds her wits and quickly raises her foot, setting up a Get Rec’d that sends Frater slamming back down to the mat! The crowd is roaring as she crawls over to her opponent where he lays tangled in the steel chair. As she reaches to go for the pin, however, Frater’s hand goes for her head! He grips a fistful of hair and slams Zephyr’s head into the chair! While she’s dazed, Frater gets to his knees, sets his teeth, and proceeds to apply his Mouth of Madness move, however instead of a second hand gripping the side of Quinn’s head to apply pressure, he’s shoving it against the steel chair on the mat!
Artemis lets out a cry and Hiro covers his eyes.
Hiro Suzuki: JESUS CHRIST MAKE HIM STOP!
Del Ramos: NOT A CHANCE, SUZUKI! SATAN CALLS THE SHOTS HERE AND HE’S ALL FOR THIS SHIT!
Kincaid is in the ring with the pair, checking on both. She lifts Zephyr’s arm once… twice… three times to no response! Snapping upright, she calls for the bell!
DING DING DING!
Kevin Kim: Your winner by submission, ‘Necesse Malum,’ FRATER PERDURABO!
As soon as the bell rings, Frater collapses beside his opponent. Ernest Conagher and his team of medics are rushing the ring, neither combatant on their feet as the EMTs tend to the worst of their wounds.
Del is practically frothing at the mouth, their werewolf costume seeming all the more authentic for it.
Del Ramos: That’s my fucking life’s blood right there.
Hiro Suzuki: Jeez...and more than a little of theirs, too.
Artemis Direction: While our team cleans up the… generous donation of what I am sure counts as double red blood cells, we take you back to the dressing area where an encounter between the World Champion and his worthy Challenger is taking place!
While it’s uncertain what the original purpose of the now subterranean room once was, presently, it’s being used as a changing room. The ‘backstage’ of the Underground arena is a simple affair; there’s only so much one can build from the bones of a dead city. As Silvio Leon puts the finishing touches on some skeletal face paint, giving himself a last once-over in the mirror, he notices a figure moving up behind him and turns with a smile.
Silvio Leon: Hey, dude!
Dressed in khaki shorts, shirt, and hiking boots, Kyle Beckett strides into the room.
Leon looks amused.
Silvio Leon: Let me guess-Steve Irwin?
Kyle grins in return.
Kyle Beckett: Bloody oath mate! The bloke's legit. He made a career dealing with the world's most dangerous animals and no cap I'm about to step into the ring for possibly the hardest challenge of my life. So invoking his spirit seemed fitting. He's a a true blue Aussie icon, a real leg, and call it aspirational, but all those cobbers out there are calling for us, cheering for us, to : near beat the living shit out of each other, and low-key I've like to think my name could one day be placed next to his
Silvio Leon: Hell yeah, man! You got a lot of spine doing what you’ve done. I admire your courage. I know you hear this a lot, but it takes guts to leave home for a totally different country. I hope Seattle’s been treating you right.
Kyle Beckett: Eh. It’s been low-key cheugy. Fair dinkum. But I ain’t here to go through that bizzo again. I’m here to hit you for a bloody six. No shade of course mate. No word of a lie, I’m stoked, pretty fucking excited for this moment. So don’t come a gutser and choke out there eh?
Silvio grins, his skeletal make-up exaggerating the expression, reeling in mock indignation.
Silvio Leon: Perish the thought! It’s best two out of three, Beckett. I’m not eager to be added to anyone’s pin collection, even if I do even the score.
His expression changes subtly; a knife’s edge being seen briefly glinting from its sheath.
Silvio Leon: Just don’t go burning out early on me.
Kyle Beckett: You’re dreamin!
Silvio Leon: This is my first defense, your first challenge, and the first time either of us is doing an Underworld rules match. If I don’t make you mistake the Underground for Hades itself, I’m not doing my job.
Patting Kyle on the shoulder, he gives a wave as he heads down the hallway, murmuring to himself.
Silvio Leon: Where was Violence?
He snaps, remembering.
Silvio Leon: Oh, right! Catch you in the Seventh Circle, Beckett!
Del Ramos: Taught the kid what he needs to know, huh Artemis?
Artemis Direction: Sweetness as if I needed to. I swear every child I take in has an occult phase. It’s just natural! Action figures and dolls, tea parties and sleepovers, kitten heels and clip-on ties, invoking the Hellish forces of the other side and joining their dark crusade, getting their driver’s license, prom - it’s just the typical progression!
Hiro Suzuki: We’re definitely about to see some big steps from our next combatants!
Artemis Direction: That’s certainly true, dear! ‘Hell on Heels,’ Eleni Tolis, and ‘Adorable’ Adam Prince! It’s safe to say that doing an underworld match for them is well outside of their typical wheelhouse.
Del Ramos: And like I told you - don’t for a second take these two for anything other than what they are deep down. Vicious. You put someone’s back against a wall, I don’t care how nice they are under normal circumstances. You see what they’re really made of.
Kevin Kim: The following contest is set for one fall! Introducing first!
Lights go out as the lyrics, 'I'm hell on heels.... I'm hell on heels, baby I'm comin' for you,' come over the sound system. Eleni, dressed in pink gear trimmed in black and a fashion robe, accompanied by her manager, Carl Ross, stands on the entrance ramp with her fingers in a heart shaped symbol made dangerous by the razor-tipped gloves she’s sporting.
Kevin Kim: From Los Angeles, California, weighing in at 115 pounds, she is Hell on Heels, ELENI TOLIS!
As Eleni breaks the heart, she spins around with a smirk on her face and puts up a, 'Talk to hand,' to the fans. Some try to take pictures as she walks to the ring, but Eleni blocks their cameras, telling them, 'you can't afford it.' She walks up the ring steps, entering under the middle rope. Standing in the middle of the ring, she uses the clawed gloves to slice the robe away before slowly dropping it to the canvas and blowing a kiss.
Artemis Direction: Eleni has a unique way of conducting herself in the ring. She isn’t afraid to use unconventional methods to get results.
Del Ramos: I think it’s brutal that’s how she’s taking advantage of battle horniness. Good for her.
Kevin Kim: And her opponent!
"Warriors" by Aaliyah Rose begins to play over the PA system and yellow lights strobe and pulse to the beat as the Princes of Power, "Adorable" Adam and "Iron Man" Sherah Prince, and their manager, "Beautiful" Bo Fletcher, step out onto the stage.
Kevin Kim: From Prima Porta, Italy, weighing in at 206 pounds, he is the ‘Adorable’ ADAM PRINCE!
Adam bounces and dances to the music for a moment, showboating for the crowd, before the trio make their way down the aisle. Upon reaching the ring, Sherah climbs the stairs and continues up the outside of the turnbuckles while Adam slides into the ring and ascends the ropes on the opposite side. The two of them look out over the audience, pointing at the fans and pumping their fists in the air.
Hiro Suzuki: You really have to appreciate the positive energy this trio just radiates! Hey, what would the only son of a sun be?
Artemis Direction: I don’t know, dear, what?
Hiro Suzuki: The sol heir to all his property!
Back at the ring, Sherah offers Adam a kendo stick, which the Adorable one takes from his cousin’s hands as if pulling Excalibur from the stone.
DING DING!
Eleni strides toward Adam, tossing her fiery hair over one shoulder and giving him a wink. Adam remains wary, giving Tolis a wide berth, holding his weapon at the ready. Eleni moves quickly, darting in to swipe at Prince, who parries with his kendo stick and twists out of the way! He follows the motion, bending to knock Eleni’s legs out from under her with his weapon! As she crashes to the canvas, he follows up with a few strikes of his kendo stick, which she rolls away from. Popping up to her feet, she swipes upward at him again with her clawed gloves! Adam bends backward enough to avoid disaster, though his chin still gets nicked by the blades. Encouraged by drawing first blood, Tolis presses the attack, swinging around behind Prince with feline grace and speed, tangling him up in an abdominal stretch, his kendo stick sent flying! Grinning wickedly, she rakes the claws of one hand across Adam’s stomach, leaving scarlet rents across his skin! He yelps in pain, but grits his teeth, tenses himself and pitches his body to one side, using his weight advantage to send them both toppling to the mat, Adam landing hard on top of his opponent! As she lays dazed for a moment on the canvas, Prince takes the opportunity to divest her of one glove, hurling it away before she finds her wits again and rolls away from him with a snarl.
Del Ramos: Good call trimming the claws. Those gloves are wicked.
Spying his kendo stick, Adam goes for it, only for Eleni to put herself between the wrestler and his weapon. She swipes at him with her gloved hand, but he rolls beneath her swing, surging to his feet and snapping around to hit Tolis with a standing discus lariat as she turns to face him! She hits the canvas and he goes for the pin, Godric Smith sliding in for the count!
One!
Two!
Kick out from Tolis!
Artemis Direction: Quick thinking and quicker action from Prince!
Hiro Suzuki: You know how the cat got an A+ on its English exam? It correctly used an independent claws!
Del looks forlornly at their hands, shaking their head.
Del Ramos: Claws. Why didn’t I think to make it with claws? Finger knives would solve every problem I have right now.
Artemis Direction: Eleni seems to share your sentiment, darling!
Adam tries to get Eleni’s other glove off her, but she curls away before he can. Shifting gears, he goes back to retrieve his kendo stick, but yelps as Eleni grabs his face with one clawed hand and shoves him backward. Instead of toppling, he follows the motion, somersaulting back up to his feet. Frustrated, Eleni takes a few steps forward, but Prince is already in motion, bouncing off the ropes behind him and taking her down to the mat again with a flying forearm smash! Kipping up, Adam makes a lunge for his kendo stick, only to have it dragged out of reach by Eleni’s manager, Carl Ross! As Sherah and Bo go to deal with Ross, Adam snaps around just in time for Tolis to slap him across the face with her bare hand! As Prince reels in shock for a moment, Eleni takes advantage and hits him with a Stun Gun for the Selfie! Not letting up, she goes for a pin!
One!
Tw-
Kick out from Prince!
Artemis Direction: Well this certainly has been quite a display!
Del Ramos: C’MON, PRINCE! GET THE STICK AND START WHALING ON HER WHAT’S THE HOLD UP?!
Both opponents climb to their knees, eyeing each other, breathing hard. Adam winces a little, gripping the cuts on his stomach and Tolis smirks, raising one clawed fingertip to her lip in mock innocence, batting her eyelashes.
Eleni Tolis: Oopsie! Did the mean, mean kitty cat hurt Prince Charming?
Adam just shakes his head with a little half smile before he makes a lunge forward. Tolis moves to counter, only to find it’s a feint, Prince hitting her with a neat hip toss! As she crashes to the mat, winded, he takes a few quick steps toward the ropes, springing back onto her in a tight moonsault that hits its mark to the delight of the crowd! Eleni writhes in pain, trying to lever herself up to her elbows as Adam leans down and drags her upward, positioning her for a scoop slam! Tolis struggles mightily, getting Adam off his balance and landing awkwardly on her feet. Not giving her the opportunity to get her bearings, Prince locks his arms through Eleni’s, swinging her around for a Rebel Rouser and going for the pin!
One!
Two!
Thr--
Kick out from Tolis!
Hiro Suzuki: It’s dizzying just watching that exchange!
Both opponents lay still for a few moments, trying to catch their breath. Seeing his kendo stick at the edge of the ring, Adam begins to crawl toward it, evening out his breathing and steadying his focus. As he reaches the ropes, however, the back of his head is seized roughly by a clawed hand and before he can do anything to protect himself, Adam finds his face being slammed repeatedly into the mat! Seeing stars, he’s too dazed to prevent Eleni from using the bottom rope to choke him!
Artemis Direction: Good heavens I think we may have another winner via submission! If Eleni keeps this up, Adam is going to pass out from lack of oxygen!
Adam is struggling to keep from doing just that, writhing and trying to somehow loosen Eleni’s grip without causing the claws to sink further into the back of his head. Gritting his teeth and closing his eyes, he stretches his hand out one last time, grabs the handle of his kendo stick, and slams it up in an arc over his head as hard as he can, square in the center of Eleni’s forehead! She goes slamming backward into the canvas behind them!
Del lets out a delighted bark of laughter while their companions wince audibly.
Hiro Suzuki: Jeez that looks like what I get when I try to do calculus!
Artemis Direction: What’s that dear?
Hiro Suzuki: A headache!
Adam uses his kendo stick to help him get back to his feet, he shakes his head, rubbing at his throat from where it was pressed against the bottom rope. He coughs hoarsely as Tolis begins, slowly, to stir, climbing to one knee and glowering balefully at Prince. Bristling, she lets out a war cry as she flies at him, going for elbows, swiping at him with her clawed glove, only for him to knock her blows away! She gets another good score across his chest with her blades, and he hisses in pain before he strikes her across the backs of her knees, sending her sprawling onto the mat! Grabbing her legs and positioning his kendo stick across the back of her shoulders, he twists Tolis into the Honourbound! With the added pinch of the bamboo digging into her back, Eleni makes an admirable effort to hang in there, reaching desperately for any rope but finding none she can grasp. Left without any other options, she grits her teeth and taps!
DING DING DING!
Kevin Kim: Your winner by submission, ‘Adorable’ ADAM PRINCE!
Sherah and Bo join Adam in the ring as he celebrates, being careful of the cuts he’s endured, giving him high-fives, fist bumps, and laughter.
Artemis Direction: Quite the foray into the ring, wouldn’t you say?
Hiro Suzuki: From both fighters!
Del Ramos: What did I fuckin’ tell you? Watch out for the nice ones. They’re always the ones that snap hardest.
A slow smile curls Del’s features.
Del Ramos: Well...usually. I’d say that the next fight? Well, it’s probably got one of the hardest hitters in the whole damn business.
Artemis Direction: Be that as it may, we simply cannot discount Mr. O’Toole in this fight with the Rat King. He’s a clever man and has proven time and again he’s very scrappy; resourceful.
Hiro Suzuki: I’d say this is another David and Goliath, but let’s be honest - who doesn’t LRK dwarf?
Kevin Kim: The following contest is set for one fall! Introducing first!
As the dramatic string introduction of ‘I’m Shipping Up to Boston,’ kicks in, the lights around the big screen pulse green and gold in time with the beat. The screen shows an overhead view of an industrial district, hanging in mid-air for a moment before diving down to the alleys below to show gritty images of hands being taped up, quick footwork of fighters wearing work boots instead of ring boots, and blood spattering against brick walls.
Kevin Kim: From Astoria, Oregon, weighing in at 190 pounds, the Sidewinder, DAVID O’TOOLE!
Dressed in plain black ring pants without design or decor, black ring boots, and an army green hoodie, and tonight marked with patches of an abstract snakeskin design, David O’Toole steps out of the entrance, pausing for a moment at the top of the ramp before making his way down, his steps purposeful.
As he hops down into the pit, he reaches into his hoodie pocket to pull out a pocket watch-sized pendent of a purple and green nazar on a long chain. He holds it up and turns to show the crowd, gives the chain a few earnest tugs to show that it won't easily break, then carefully hands it to Jill Kincaid.
Artemis Direction: Oh, yes! There’s a bit of a hitch to this one, isn’t there?
Del Ramos: Right - he has to do a little pick pocketing or something.
Hiro shakes his head.
Hiro Suzuki: This is so strange. Is this some other weird snag in that contract Valentine had him sign?
Artemis Direction: He seems to have these other little challenges added onto his matches, but… to what end? Just for the sake of themselves?
Del Ramos: Some fuckers are just like that - they want to find ways to lord it over you however they can. It doesn’t matter if it’s weird or nonsensical as long as they get their jollies. And I mean, shit, you can say a lot about Valentine, but does he look like the kind of guy whose idea of fun would be anything close to normal?
Hiro Suzuki: You have a point...
Then he moves toward the referee’s table, shrugging off his hoodie, and hands it off to Godric Smith. He comes back, holding out his arms—his green tank has no sleeves, and from his taped hands to his boots Jill Kincaid affirms that O’Toole has nowhere he could be hiding a second charm.
Kevin Kim: And his opponent!
The screens display a flickering, static-struck screen with the crowned rat logo, bone-white over a black and red spattered background as the first riffs of "Hail to the King" begin playing; when the first heavy thrums of rhythm guitar in the music strike, the logo shudders and glitches, electricity running through it from left to right like a broken heartbeat. Below the screens the entrance is flooded with rolling fog cast in blood-red light and white strobe lights that match the beat of the song and of the electric shock waves on the screen.
Kevin Kim: From Portland, Oregon and weighing in at 285 pounds—Ascended Wrestling's reigning Underworld Champion—THE LAB RAT KING!
The Lab Rat King enters this great hall of his domain, the Underworld title belt slung on one shoulder, his slow and deliberate steps taking him down toward the ring. There's something bestial about the way he moves, like an animated gargoyle—the Underground’s rightful savage sovereign. He's accompanied by his wife and valet, Grace King, who seems to keep him from lunging at the jeering crowd with nothing but a hand on his arm and a smirk of her own.
Artemis Direction: Now this is going go be something uniquely bloody, if my guess is right.
Del grins.
Del Ramos: Fuck yeah it will be. We got the Underworld Champion in his domain with the deadliest prey to contend with. And Davie has the spine to play games while this is all going on? My Satan’s sweet beard, this is gonna be glorious.
Once he reaches the edge, Grace cranes up to give him a kiss on the muzzle as she takes the belt from him, and he moves almost animalistic down onto the mat, standing up slowly. David gives a low, slow nod as King rises—King merely stares him down, still except for the swell of his breath. Cautiously Jill holds the pendent out to LRK. He barely moves to look at the ref, then suddenly snatches it out of their hand. She startles, which gets a grunt of amusement from King, and he fixes the chain to his belt.
O’Toole extends a fist to him in a show of respect. King pauses, then starts to reach out with his fist—only to lash out and grab O’Toole’s arm and hurl him across the ring. David tucks to roll as soon as he hits the ground, and as fast as he can manage he's back on his feet—and he’s smiling with excitement.
Del Ramos: THAT’S THE FUCKIN’ SPIRIT!
DING DING!
LRK hurls a colossal right fist—O’Toole ducks, and immediately twists up into an enziguri into King’s side! Riding the momentum he strikes with two quick jabs and a left cross to King’s jaw, staggering him further, and immediately David backpedals. Now he has room to run to LRK, duck behind him, and keep running to leap up and vault himself out of the pit! King whips around as he regains his feet, searching for the Sidewinder, when a sharp whistle cuts the air. O’Toole has a good head-start up to one of the tunnel entrances, but he’s paused to catch King’s eye—with both hands he invites King up, he throws his thumb back over his shoulder, and the message is clear: Let’s go, you wanna play?
Hiro Suzuki: Is O’Toole out of his mind!?
Del Ramos: Heh! Got ourselves a good ‘ol game of cat and mouse!
Artemis Direction: I think you mean, ‘rat and mouse,’ darling.
King grins behind his muzzle, and with a roar he charges up and after O’Toole, nearly on all fours. David makes good on his head start, flying up into the tunnel, and overturning an empty table behind him. LRK shoves the table aside, smashing it to splinters, and keeps up the chase.
Hiro Suzuki: Hey, how do you keep a bull from charging?
Del Ramos: If you could just… let me have this. Just shut your goddamn food door and let me have this one show... I promise when I kill you I’ll leave you in good enough shape for an open casket.
Hiro Suzuki: You take away his credit cards!
Del Ramos: ...Motherfucker, your ashes are going to be too ugly to be displayed in an opaque urn by the time I’m done.
Rounding the corner by shoving his shoulder into the wall, David careens into the next corridor—only to trip over a loose floorboard in the walkway! It doesn’t take him down, but it’s enough for King to gain on him. Seizing the opportunity as well as David’s waist, he uses his forward momentum to take David into a Sidewalk Slam on top of the railing! O’Toole narrowly avoids the devastation to his spine with some quick thinking, getting one foot planted hard enough on the railing to flip over King’s arm. Now on top of the railing, he makes a leap upward and pulls himself through the broken floorboards of the room above!
Hiro Suzuki: Hey, you know how monkeys get up and down the stairs?
Artemis Direction: How’s that, darling?
Del Ramos: Stop encouraging him.
Hiro Suzuki: They slide up and down the banana-ster!
Snarling, the Lab Rat is in hot pursuit, scaling the railing and the sinking floorboards as his namesake would. Climbing seems to be in his nature. The space is dark, but seems to be some kind of abandoned boiler room; King takes up a huge pipe from the floor with both hands, and he bangs it against the nearest wall, stalking forward toward the crack of violet light coming in through the door.
Bang! Bang!
Lab Rat King: HERE, KITTY KITTY KITTY…
The next room seems to be a dead end, the old door that would have once granted access to the stairs up to the street boarded up thoroughly. David’s eyes dart around the chamber—just as LRK bursts in behind him.
Hiro lets out a scream several octaves higher than it would reasonably be expected him to vocalize at.
Lab Rat King: FOUND YOU.
O’Toole grins with something feral, and keeps light on his feet as King charges him. He dodges, but instead of making space, David finds another angle, and is slightly closer. LRK growls as he lunges again—only for David to slip away again. Round and round they orbit, LRK can’t quite get his hands on O’Toole, but O’Toole can’t quite find an opening to strike or escape—and in sheer defiance of reason O’Toole is spiraling closer and closer to LRK. Finally King snarls, his patience run out just as David finally makes a bit more space and stops, breathing hard but still grinning madly.
Lab Rat King: HOLD STILL, WHIRLIGIG WORM!
He makes a run at O’Toole—who does just the same! With a roar King snatches at David as he’s about to run past, catches him by the back of the shirt, and twisting hurls him headlong towards a wooden post along one wall. O’Toole goes sailing through the air, but he twists and curls to slam his shoulder into the post! There’s a great crack!!, and just as King is about to pounce on O’Toole a great flood of debris comes crashing down on the both of them!
At first the only sound is the patter of loose gravel settling, part of King’s legs poking out of the rubble. Then a pair of hands comes bursting out of the side of the debris—one is holding the pendent!—and shortly thereafter the rest of David O’Toole emerges, dusty and grimy and much worse for wear, but in one piece. He stumbles out, panting, and finds a wall to lean on—but even as he catches his breath he does not dare take his eyes away from the pile.
DING DING DING!
Kevin Kim: Your winner by... cave in! 'The Sidewinder,' DAVID O'TOOLE!
The bell is distant, but it's clear, and O’Toole folds forward in relief. Though as staff come in to dig out LRK, O’Toole waves away the people trying to lead him back out and joins the others in digging. He finally finds King’s arm–
–which suddenly snatches him by the wrist!
King lifts himself out of the rest of the rubble, breathing hard, and glares at O’Toole as he rises. O’Toole holds his gaze, his face set but not aggressive. After a tense moment LRK begins to chuckle in some sense of twisted mirth--low and raspy and harsh--and lets go, his feral eyes fixed on O'Toole's.
As the view switches back to the commentary table, all three commentators are staring dumbfounded.
Del Ramos: DID YOU FUCKING SEE THAT?!
Artemis Direction: What a match!
Del is grinning madly, finger tips curling into the top of the announcer’s table.
Del Ramos: Everything I coulda hoped for and more. I just want this whole roster to be soaked in viscera!
Artemis Direction: Well, sweetling, we have our last match of the evening coming up and I think it’s safe to say we have some fighters who have every reason to leave it all out there in the ring for us!
Hiro Suzuki: Silvio seems just as motivated to keep his title as Kyle is to take it!
Del Ramos: Leon’s had it rough; he’s got that survivor’s instinct in him. He’s a nice enough guy, but let’s see how nice he is when he feels genuinely threatened.
Artemis sighs.
Artemis Direction: I won’t deny he can get a little… sharp if given a particular motivation.
Hiro Suzuki: Kyle’s motivation isn’t any less compelling. If he’s able to make a name for himself by becoming our second World Champ, he’s going to cement his reputation as being a prodigy in the field! He’s fighting on behalf of his brother, a wrestler whose life was tragically cut short.
Del Ramos: There’s death hanging in a cloud around these two, but instead of making them stop, all its done is make them go harder. That’s fucking metal.
Kevin Kim: Ascended Army this is your main event for the evening for the Ascended Wrestling World Championship! Our contest is set for two out of three falls or submissions, which count anywhere in our Underworld rule match! Are you ready, Ascended Army?!
The crowd roars its approval, Kevin raising the mic to his lips once more.
Kevin Kim: Introducing first, your challenger!
“Stick to Your Guns,” by Sick Puppies hits and Kyle, dressed in his safari-style khakis, stands at the top of the entrance ramp, bent slightly forward and arms crossed. He drops the hood of his jacket and throws his arms out wide, letting out an excited roar to the crowd. He looks around to take in the arena before striding down the ramp.
Kevin Kim: From Queensland, Australia, weighing in at 201lbs, he is the Culture Clash, KYLE BECKETT!
Kyle ascends the ring apron, looking out to the arena again with a sly grin on his face, and climbs to the top of the turnbuckle where he cries out “Aussie, Aussie, Aussie!” the crowd replying with, ‘Oi! Oi! Oi!’ before leaping down to the ring. He paces back and forth, eyes bright, never leaving the entrance, an eager, ravenous lion in the shape of a young man.
Kevin Kim: And his opponent!
Superstition by Kyle Primus rings out and the Ascended World Champion comes out on the stage, face painted like a skull, title around his waist, bathed in black light as the big screen displays a Ouija board surrounded by raw crystals and burning candles, with his name written across it, a planchette moving in an arc over the letters. Catching Kyle’s gaze, he grins, eyes gleaming with anticipation. He high fives with the fans closest to the ramp, but his focus is clear.
Kevin Kim: From Seattle, WA, weighing in at 195lbs, he is your Ascended World Champion, your Mystifying Oracle, SILVIO LEON!
Climbing onto the apron and flipping over the ropes, the Mystifying Oracle hands the belt over to Jill Kincaid, who holds it aloft for the crowd to see. With a confident smile, Silvio walks up to Kyle and offers a friendly hand to which Kyle accepts, though the tension between them is palpable.
Artemis Direction: Here we go, hunties!
DING DING DING!
After Jill calls for the bell, champion and challenger meet in the center of the ring for a test of strength. After a few moments, the taller Kyle is able to get the advantage and pushes Silvio into the corner! The ref calls for a clean break and Kyle backs off, only to slap the face of the champion!
Del snickers.
Del Ramos: Looks like our Aussie’s testing that ‘nice guy’ cred right out the gate! If Beckett gets Leon angry, it’s gonna shut down his ability to strategize.
Artemis Direction: Not a bad methodology! Hiro, sweetness, I don’t suppose you’ve found any new Australian wildlife on your quest for ordinary fauna, have you?
Hiro makes a face.
Hiro Suzuki: I mean, I think so? But --
Del grins madly.
Del Ramos: Yeah?
Hiro makes a face at them.
Hiro Suzuki: You’re going to tell me some weird fact about it and it’s gonna send me right back to the drawing board!
Silvio launches himself out of the corner and strikes back with a spinning back heel kick, only for Kyle to just barely make it out of harm’s way! Dressed in his Irwin-inspired costume, Beckett grins and affects the late naturalist’s commentary.
Kyle Beckett: Oooh I made ‘im angry!
Silvio is quick though and spins in the opposite direction, connecting with a spinning elbow strike! Kyle staggers to the side but isn’t down as he fires back with an open palm slap right to Silvio’s chest! Silvio returns the favor and the two trade shots until Silvio gets the upper hand and backs Kyle into the corner, connecting with a rope assisted enziguri!
Del Ramos: Oof! Leon’s kicks can be fuckin’ brutal! I bet he’s taking lessons from that new friend on the roster of his with the thighs that could crush a man’s skull. Anyway, c’mon, Suzuki, let’s hear about your newest would-be pet! Don’t you think it’s even more appropriate given Beckett’s get-up?
Hiro glances between Artemis and Del, fidgeting before finally sighing.
Hiro Suzuki: Well, I guess...
Kyle stumbles out of the corner and Silvio is quick to follow. However, showing off his speed and ring sense, Kyle leaps into the air and flips backwards, connecting with a Pele kick! Silvio staggers backwards and leaps into the air, hopping onto Kyle’s shoulders with ease and hitting an inverted hurricanrana! Silvio goes for the cover…
Artemis Direction: We could have our first pin!
ONE!
TW...NO!
Kyle kicks out with authority and Silvio goes right back to work. The champion leans forward, pressing his body weight on top of Kyle’s back before wrapping his arms around Kyle’s neck with a sleeper hold! Kyle struggles but seems to be fading as the ref runs in to check on him. He lifts Kyle’s arm up and lets it fall…
ONE…
But as soon as the arm hits the mat, it bounces back up again and Kyle pumps his fist into the air asking the crowd for their support. The crowd starts to get behind Kyle as he manages to get to a knee, before climbing to his feet, with Silvio still hanging on.
Artemis Direction: Beckett showing tremendous endurance to say nothing of the pain tolerance!
Del Ramos: C’mon, Suzuki, tell us about your freak animal.
Hiro Suzuki: It isn’t a freak animal!
He sighs.
Hiro Suzuki: I mean, I hope it isn’t? Anyway, it’s getting to be the holidays, and I heard about this one bird from Australia called the Mistletoebird. How cute is that? It’s fluffy, small, and brightly colored!
Del is already getting out their phone, but they seem conflicted about whether or not they want to crush Hiro’s spirit or watch the match before them.
Decisions, decisions.
The challenger buries his elbow right into Silvio’s gut not once but twice before Silvio let’s go of the hold. Silvio tries to move in again but is thwarted by Kyle delivering a boot right to Silvio’s midsection, followed up quickly with a DDT! Silvio goes down hard and Kyle rolls out of the ring, grabbing a chair and coming back into the ring with it!
Del seems to forego destroying Hiro’s hopes and dreams for the moment, eyes fiery with joy as the first potential weapon is introduced to the fight.
Del Ramos: That’s it kid! BOIL IN THE BLOODLUST!
Kyle goes to swing the chair at a recovering Silvio only for Silvio to spear Kyle, hard, from a squatting position! Kyle goes down holding his gut and Silvio seizes the opportunity, grabbing the chair and slamming it into Kyle’s stomach before heading up to the top rope! Silvio leaps off and lands perfectly on top of the chair, and Kyle, with his signature The Color Out of Space corkscrew shooting star press! Silvio pushes the chair out of the way and covers Kyle…
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Kyle manages to kick out but it’s too late! The bell rings and Silvio has scored the first pinfall! The two stand, each grabbing their stomachs in pain. Before anything else can happen, Kyle makes a break for the ring apron and slides to the outside where he searches desperately under the ring! Unable to see any reason not to, Silvio does the same thing! It doesn’t take long for Kyle to find what he’s looking for, a cricket bat! Silvio emerges a split second later holding… A baseball bat! The champion scoffs, taking his own turn affecting an impersonation, though this is decidedly less Queensland and a bit more Queens as points with his own makeshift weapon to Beckett’s.
Silvio Leon: Cricket? Nobody understands cricket! You gotta understand what a crumpet is before you can understand cricket!
Smirking, Kyle gestures to Silvio’s own weapon of choice.
Kyle Beckett: An Ichiro bat?! Tell me you didn’t pay money for that!
The two exchange looks before shrugging and going to war with the two bats! Kyle quickly backs Silvio into a corner and takes careful aim before swatting Silvio’s hand with his cricket bat, knocking the baseball bat from Silvio’s hand! The bat clatters to the ground and Kyle winds up and swings for the fences, only for Silvio to duck at the last moment! Kyle overspins and Silvio times everything right, launching himself at Kyle with another spear! Kyle braces himself this time though and rams the end of the bat into the back of Silvio’s neck! Silvio goes down and Kyle quickly shoots the half!
ONE!
TWO!
NO!
Silvio barely manages to kick out at the last moment! Kyle gets to his feet but Silvio quickly grabs him around the waist and brings him back down to the mat locking in a figure four leg lock, Crawling Chaos! Kyle writhes in pain but gets his hand on the cricket bat, quickly swinging and this time connecting with Silvio right across the jaw! Silvio loosens his grip and Kyle reverses the pressure of the figure four causing Silvio to grit his teeth in pain!
Del slams a fist into the top of the commentary table with a howl of approval.
Del Ramos: THERE YOU GO, KID! MAKE HIM SUFFER!
Silvio is forced to release the hold and stands, but not before being rushed at by Kyle, the two landing in the corner of the ring! With no hesitation, Kyle quickly hops up onto the top rope and leaps from it to Silvio’s shoulders, bringing him down with a spinning cyclone rama, a move he calls Culture Shock! Kyle quickly goes for the pin!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Exhausted, the two men get to their feet and stare each other down, earning a newfound respect for each other, but waking up something dangerous between them. As he gets upright, something in Leon’s eyes changes, the language of his body shifting into something fluid with predatory purpose. He isn’t looking at Kyle the way one might an opponent in a fight, dark eyes burning from out of the deep, black pits of his skeletal makeup.
He’s looking at him like a cornered animal confronted with a hungry predator and nothing left to lose. He’s looking at him like he’s a problem to be solved. He’s looking at him with all the ruthless intent of a survivor who has accepted that to live, sometimes you have to let someone else die.
Even if he doesn’t know exactly what that means to a man like Silvio, Beckett seems to intuit a shift in the gears of Leon’s mind, and the lines of his own body shift to prepare himself. He hasn’t come this far to give up now, and he sure as Hell isn’t going to let down the memory of his brother by quailing to his opponent, no matter what feral, pitiless purpose has reared its ugly head. His voice comes low, eyes narrowed.
Kyle Beckett: I ain’t fuckin’ scared a' you.
Smirking slowly, Silvio motions to the outside of the ring, as if to say, ‘prove it.’ Kyle seems to read his mind as the two exit the ring and meet in front of the announce table, ready to finish things once and for all!
While Artemis and Hiro’s eyes widen and they get to their feet to try and avoid the oncoming assault, Del seems downright elated.
Del Ramos: AHAHAHA! FUCKIN’ ROOM SERVICE! I GODDAMN LOVE IT!
The two trade shots, neither one gaining the upper hand until Kyle leaps up and hits an enziguri from nowhere! The Kick That Defines a Generation! Silvio staggers and Kyle quickly follows up with an inverted necklock backbreaker, Break the Cycle! Silvio goes down hard, grabbing his back as Kyle forces him back down and goes for the pin!
ONE!
TWO!
THR--!
NO!
At the last moment, Silvio kicks out and leaps to his feet, still grabbing his back. Kyle only seems annoyed that Silvio kicked out of the move and quickly closes the distance between them. Silvio sees him coming though and runs at the ring, jumping up on the apron and landing on Kyle with a tornado DDT, Starry Wisdom, outside the ring! Silvio considers going for the pin but one can almost see the wheels turning in his head as he hoists Kyle up to his feet and plants him directly on the announce table!
Del finally gets up, stepping back to join their fellow commentators who are all clutching mics and gaping with horror.
Del Ramos: Oh, by the way, Hiro, your bird does a little shit dance and wipes its ass all over sticks to keep a parasitic plant growing it survives off of.
Hiro Suzuki: HOW COULD YOU LET ME DOWN, BIRD?!
Wasting little time, Silvio climbs into the ring and up onto the turnbuckle, still grabbing his back before leaping off with The Color Out of Space again! He lands squarely on Kyle and neither man seems to move in the wreckage of the table! Seeming to act more out of instinct than conscious thought, Silvio manages to roll on top of Kyle as the ref slides in for the count!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
DING DING DING!
The crowd is on its feet as it cheers for gladiators, alternating chants of, ‘O-RA-CLE!’ and ‘CUL-TURE CLASH!’ ringing in the Underground arena. Slowly, painfully, the pair of combatants climb to their feet, each battered but breathing. As soon as they’re both upright, Silvio and Kyle’s gazes meet, and after a long moment, the champ holds out a hand for Kyle, the younger man hesitating before taking it.
Artemis Direction: And there you have it, Ascended Army! Our Special Edition Collision has come to a thrilling end! I doubt this is the last we’re going to see of our events taking place here in the Underground. Who is going to make use of this space next and to what bloody end? Join us to find out on Collision!
Credits
Amelia vs. SKUP9 - Kyle Beckett
Roy Valentine vs. Mara Lang - Zen
Happy Endings - Amelia ‘Wildheart’ Winston and Kyle Beckett
Beyond the Belle - Zephyr and Ampersand
Osseous Irwin - Kyle Beckett and Ampersand
LRK vs. David O’Toole - Zen and g
Kyle vs. Silvio - Zephyr
Everything else - Ampersand
A huge thanks to Zen for doing the formatting after the heckin' circuit breaker decided to flip out.